Friends and Lovers

[beenee]

Should a girl risk a very very close friendship with a guy and tell him she likes him? It is more than possible that the friendship that they have now, would be lost forever if the guy's response is anything less than 100% positive. The girl does not have an objective idea of whether the guy likes her in a more-than-friendly way, because she will obviously see what she wants to see. He definitely loves to be her and they have a lot of fun together. She can not tell anyone about this. She would rather not involve any friends. Should she leave things as they are (very good, fun), just be friends and wait for him to make the first move (if at all) OR Should she risk the friendship and go for something uncertain but perhaps more fulfilling?

[andy hughes]

I would be inclined to leave well alone. This is a step forward, from which she cannot step back again - it's like breaking a vase, you can glue it, but it's never the same again. Genuine platonic relationships are rare, simply because this issue usually raises its head sooner or later - more usually from the man's side, but there are no rules here. Even if the guy accepts the girl's overtures, their friendship will be lost, by virtue of its replacement by a different relationship. Does she want to risk losing something safe, familiar, and good, for a risky maybe? Even if they both go on to find other partners, their friendship can endure in a way that romantic relationships find difficult. This level of friendship is to valuable to lose - accept it for what it is, and don't mess it up.

[annakarenina]

Yes - in life and love you must take risks, playing it safe will provide you with one thing and take away another: a boring life without joy. Besides, if he doesn't feel the same way, you can still continue your frienship - it's up to you. He will feel flattered and will almost certainly want to still be your friend, and you will get over it.

[incitatus]

In my experience it is very rare for a guy to be freinds with a girl that he doesnt find attractive in some way. He may never act on it but it is almost certain to be there. He will almost certainly have asked himself the same questions at some point. I have had experiences both ways. I once slept with a friend and it nearly wrecked the friendship and did us both lots of damage. I also didnt sleep with one when I wanted to, and it made things very awkward afterwards. Love is very complex. The best you can do is go with your heart. If the girl must have the guy then go for it. If its not that vital then dont. but have an answer ready for when he asks, because sooner or later I think e will.

[ravenhair]

You go, girl! If you don't, you'll always be wondering what if ... If your friendship is as strong as it sounds, you should be able to get back on track if you don't get the response you want, even if there is an initial period of awkwardness. I wish you all the luck in the world and applaud your bravery.

[vittoria]

My instinct would be to say nothing. My feelings on the matter are similar to those expressed by Andy Hughes.

[tracymort]

i did and now we are expecting our 2nd child!! turned out that he wasn't sure if i liked him!

[beenee]

THANK YOU ALL......... The girl's still well confused about what to do. (This is obviously a friend we're talking about ;o) So will wait for a few more views. Thank you once again!

[akkers]

Get drunk and sha* him, he may be shi* in the sack and hung like my little pony. If all goes pear shape blame the drink if not then bobs your uncle..

[bballwardy7]

I have been in the same situation and on both sides of it! I have fancied a very close mate of mine. Also at a different time i had my best male friend asking me out.

My male best friend has fancied me for about 4 years and at the start of liking me asked me out a lot. I said no because i did not like him in that way. But it has not altered our relationship at all, we are still very close and are good friends. If you are very close friends even if the boy rejected the girl it shoud not stop them being friends.

If the boy says yes and the two date for a while, then split up this does not mean it is the end of your friendship either! I have been out one of my friends and even after we split up 3 years later we are still friends.

If the girl and boy are very close then the girl should tell him because the hidden secret of liking him might cause more problems than if she just came out with it! Hidden secrets tend to effect how you act and if you start acting weird around a close friend they will notice i guarantee it. The girl should just follow her heart and beable to stay friends with the boy no matter what happens.