worried

[nextqueen]

should i be worried? saw on computer history that hubby has been looking at porn, affairs in hotel websites and may have registerd to adultfinder website. i can see he has also looked up a woman he had an affair with previoulsy. i want to confront him but also at the same time want to keep looking at history to see what he is up to. what should i do for the best?

[nextqueen]

basically, do i let him hang himself before i confront him?

[mrs_overall]

If it was me I'd be packing his stuff into binbags right now

[poodicat]

Are you ok?

[momcj]

If he has had affairs in past and this is out in open i would confront him. he cant have go at you if he has a past of it. unfortunatley it doesnt look good, and i would start to prepare myself. I think it would be difficult not to say anything because you will obv act different. good luck x

[oscardoodles]

Cut him loose,sounds like a sad case.If you're checking his history you obviously don't trust him.F@ck him off before he lets you down badly......keep your chin up,no reflection on you I'm sure.

[gerry999]

he likley knows that you are on to him.perhaps he wants you to.the fact that he lookin past woman dosent sound good.its disloyal and if it were me id have his stuff packed an chuck him out.

[JackDanielsU]

Why were you checking his computer usage. I assume you dont trust him because of past indescretions

But at present - hes been looking at porn. This may have brought up the adultfinder site...many adult sites have popups galore offering all sorts. Nothing illegal in looking at "normal" porn, certainly not grounds for chucking him out etc

Looking up the woman though...how did you find that out? Is this via a social networking site??

If hes acting distant and spending too much time on the computer, and wont let you be in the room while hes on it, then thats alarm bells

[nextqueen]

i just confronted him, he says he hasnt looked her up. i put search things into my google space and click. he tends to put it into the brower, so when you start to write out her name it comes up and then takes you to a webpage where you can buy info on people, name age address, telephone number, parents into, convictions etc. i asked him if he had done it and he says no though doesnt seem to be going mad about it. if he just admitted he was curious etc then i would understand. i havent mentioned the porn thing yet as it would give away that im looking at the history on apple macbook pro. once they are cleared do you know where they go to. ive said he can tell me in the morning as i dont want anything more to do with him. hes never seen me adamant like this. i know its not me as ive never typed in her name in the header and when i have in the past it never took me to that kind of webpage to circle for people. saw on history it was wed. he took computer to work on wed and can only use it as a dongle. hes been bored at work lately, contract coming to an end soon. i know men look at porn, its the adultfriendfinder thats getting me and the affairhotel webpage. about to take a look in more detail now on my own computer. i just dont feel good enough for him but know if should be the other way round. i wont give in until he admits it yet as i say i cant show the search history as it will give away more things for now.

[Mick-Talbot]

i always clear my history.

i don't people finding out i use answerbank.

'what should i do for the best? ' leave or kick him out.

[karenmac60]

I thought it wasn't that easy Mick

[Mick-Talbot]

It isn't Karen and this posts backs up what i have said doesn't it?

?

[gerry999]

there seems to be no trust or respect between use,he needs a wake up call,you could suggest counselling an see if there any saving of ur marrage.

[Sqad]

Looking at porn on the Internet............a man?.........a married man at that...........bring back hanging.

Watching porn is just a phase that the majority of men go through and then it becomes boring and no longer sexually exciting.

If every woman wanted to live with a man that hadn't watched porn on the Internet, then 80% of woman would be living alone.

Do you really want to confront him? You must be prepared for his answers and remember, "don't throw the baby out with the bath water"

[NoMercy]

The porn is just one issue on a whole list of issues though, Sqad. What about the adultfinder website??

[rowanwitch]

I think what Sqad and other men may forget is women seem rarely 100% happy with themselves so when a man (or female partner) are watching porn or looking back to previous relationships it affects their self esteem... A man would not be happy I am sure if his female OH spent her evenings looking at the sites aimed for women... going oh go* look at the size of that...and why cant.....do that to me...If there are already trust issues...this makes it worse as it can add a sense of not being good enough ..... or just not being enough.... Porn has its place in a healthy relationship..but as a shared experience....previous lovers do not...

[Sqad]

Adultfinder website........he may well be curious as many men are and just because the website is on the browser history, doesn't mean that he has subscribed.....she states "may have registered"

If there is a sexual void in your marriage, then ALL of the above may come into play, but that doesn't mean that he intends leaving her.

Now....her leaving HIM for the above "sins" will be up to her, but I hope she doesn't make a decision purely based on the facts stated above.

[NoMercy]

Sqad... the guy's already had an affair. Now he's merely looking at other women? Oh c'mon.