Love

[emmap]

How can u stop loving someone who u know likes u back but they are involved with someone else? Help!

[beenee]

Maybe you can have something on another level with them. I would imagine it to be very hard to simply 'stop loving them' - that doesnt happen. Maybe you can be friends, enjoy each other's company and draw the line at anything romantic. Or maybe if you start here, it could progress into something deeper. But I know that it can be hard to stay friends if you truly like the person because you think a million times before doing something you would normally do with another friend (like a text out of the blue). Whatever you decide to do, try to stay neutral about how you feel about them, and respect the choices they make about who they want to be with. Good Luck!

[vittoria]

Keep repeating to yourself - several times a day - that that person's happiness is the most important thing and you want them to find happiness with their partner. It helped me once.

[Horse]

Take the good advice from friends like beenee and vittoria and remember that you will meet someone who loves you back as much. Don't hurt dude, you'll be just fine; )

[incitatus]

Or as Wendy Cope put it: 2 cures for love: Dont call, or ring or even send a letter. The second? Get to know them better. A little bitter perhaps, but to the point. If you are smitten and they are not then it will not end happily. So backing off until they are out of your system would probably be a good thing. Remember if they are with somoeone and you preecipitate a breakup, at some level they will hate you for it. Men in similar situations often indulge in "Sh*g Therapy"...a string of meaningless sexual liaisons to take their mind off it. Which tells you something about the location of mens minds. But the basic idea, of getting on with your life somewhere else, is a good one. Get out there and soak up some culture, meet new people, enjoy life. If they are worth moping over they will come after you. If not you will be too busy to care much.

[lillie]

Ask yourself why you love them. Would you love them as much if they were single and totally available?

[Josey]

Lillie is on the right track, you need to examine your motives as to why you 'love' this person. It may seem to be a perfectly natural attraction, and on a simple level it probably is. But subconsciously you know that this person is unobtainable but you persist in your affections and allowing them to blossom. Are you trying to protect yourself, are you slightly insecure so by falling someone unattainable you don't run the risk of being hurt or having to cope with a real relationship with its ups and downs. Or are you just jealous that somebody else has been successful in love, or do not like this person's partner and want to split them up. Go off and do other things, develop your other friendships and relationships. Start a new hobby. This way you will meet new people who have things in common with you and something may happen there. Or maybe whilst you're having fun and a life this other person may split up from their current partner and then find you attractive, which they won't if they only ever see you hankering after them.

[Josey]

PS. If you know they like you back do you really want to go out with someone who would consider cheating on their current partner! It's not worth it!