Child weight issue

[hammerman]

Big help needed here. My step daughter's half sister is 13 years old and has a serious eating problem. She's already a size 12 and is getting bigger. She eats anything and everything and often steals money to buy sweets etc.

Her mum is a nurse and has recognised the problem....she has to lock away virtually every food item in the house. They went into her bedroom the other day and found loads of yoghurt pots, empty crisp packets and even angel delight packets where she'd eaten the powder.
Her dad kind of refuses to accept it and can't be advised on it....it's his little girl.

They've taken her to the Dr's but they won't do anything until she's 16. Apparently, this girl eats like a horse and has to be eating all the time.

It's like she bullemia but without being sick. They've tried the nice approach and tried the nasty approach towards her and she just doesn't care.

This has started since she began her periods a year or so ago so could it be puberty/hormone based

Does anyone have any ideas....she's a lovely kid but something needs to be done now. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as just giving her less food as she finds a way of getting it.

Thanks in advance

HM

[sara3]

do you have any idea what her weight and height is?

if she is quite overweight I would suggest taking her to another doctor. I can't believe they're not interested when childhood obesity (I'm not suggesting she is obese) is often in the news.

[mollykins]

Have they tried the shock approach? Is she intelligent enough to be able to understand the science behind what it's doing to her body if they told her? And showing statistics and pictures of what it does to your insides. It might upset her a bit, well a lot, but it kind of worked for me. Before i was just pudgey, now i'm still about the same size but muscle, and fitter and I eat healthier.

[mollykins]

PS my BMI is quite high BUT my waist to hip ratio which is a better indicator of obesity as muscular people do ok in it is reasonable now.

[sara3]

actually, they may do better seeing a nurse, if there's one at the GP surgery. they deal with a lot of dietary issues.

[Sqad]

I agree with sara.....this is a big deal and for the medics to ignore obesity in a child of 13 years of age is scandalous and a big and growing problem in the UK. This leads to health and mental problems later...for example Type 2 diabetes usually a disease of over 45´s is now being seen in teenagers and not to mention high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease in later life.

I can only assume that she is obese from the fact that her mother who is a nurse, "recognizes the problem"

What would I do if she was MY daughter?

1) Seek an appointment with a Paediatrician to rule out the outside chance of a medical disorder.
2) Seek help from a Child Psychiatrist.......and I am no advocate of Psychiatry.

[daffy654]

I don't see what is wrong with being a size 12 at age 13. I was a size 10 at that age and stayed pretty much that size until I had my first child, then I shrank to a size 8 and stayed there until recently. If the girl is average or above average height she is not overweight.

[sara3]

but there are eating problems, daffy.

[hammerman]

Thanks guys, all answers passed on.

I would say that she was obese and no, the shock tactics....or even being nasty and cruel to her just doesn't work

Thanks again

[wolf63]

I have always been 'big' and like this girl I ate in secret like an alcoholic.

At 18 I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and this has an element of insulin resistance (similar to diabetes) but was back then this element of the problem was not known. There are many other reasons for eating in secret and tackling them now is much better than attempting to tackle them later.

I am 47, 20 stone, have diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I also am bipolar but to what degree this has effected my weight I don't know.

[daffy654]

I don't think what hammerman describes as 'eating problems' actually are. Pretty much every teenager I have ever known is exactly the same, they will eat anything and everything they can get their hands on (foodwise obviously). If this girl is normal height I would not be concerned about her being a size 12.

[Sqad]

wolf....excellent post.

[daffy654]

I'm quite disgusted at all the people here who think a size 12 teenager is obese!

[Sqad]

daffy....I agree...size 12 in a 13 year old is no big deal, but that is only one aspect of a problem highlighted in the OP.

[wolf63]

sqad ;-)

Got any chocolate?

[Sqad]

wolf..........anything else to offer;-)

[mike11111]

Size 12. Am I alone amongst males in being totally unable to conceptualise what this, or any other size, means in terms of weight, height or stature? I can visualise people in terms of feet and inches, stones and pounds, but size X leaves me confused.

[cazzz1975]

while she was at home I would make sure that the food in the house was nourishing and healthy, she could be addicted to junk and not really eating proper food which would make her continuously hungry, it can become a vicious cycle.

get rid of any junk (biscuits,crisps,chocolate,junky yoghurts, pot desserts) provide fruit and cereals if she is hungry between meals, make sure she eats a decent breakfast, lunch and dinner. she will be growing a lot in the next few years, the right food will improve her mood and her health.

junk food is highly addictive and very unhealthy, so maybe once a week she can have some junk food treats as long as it only makes up a fraction of her diet.

[Sqad]

mike...LOL.....me too...36CC though puts it all into perspective.

[Eve]

Is there anything she likes doing which is active that she could get involved in and get more physically active while enjoying it? DIstraction as well, get her involved in things where she is out and about and hopefully has less time and opportunity to let the compulsion to eat take over and has fun so it is incentivising to see how this is positive.

Might help to teach effort and reward, if she makes an effort to keep herself active then she can be rewarded with some treats (within reason), set some boundaries so she knows where she stands and gets some control and has a chance to feel better about herself.

I was more the other way, had an eating disorder where I starved myself and was about 15 I think when a doctor first tried to get me to see an eating disorder specialist.

It took me a long time to get any kind of a handle on it and it will never completely go away but I am much more in control. Once I did start eating more and enjoying food (combined with leaving uni and getting a desk job in the city and not being anywhere near so active), I found it hard to do it properly, I saw it as positive I was eating and enjoying it and ended up overweight as a result and now find it very hard to try and lose weight as the demons come back and I go OTT.

I also have a problem with my digestive system which has recently been diagnosed which doesn't help as I was craving food a lot as I always felt empty as my system can't absorb food properly to the other way where I would hate eating during the day as it made me feel so ill.

Treatment has made an big difference to this.

I'm by no means huge but do need to lose weight and comments I get, especially from people like my mum and an ex, about my weight really hurt and make me feel like I'm just not good enough for them and it brings out my more stubborn streak in that I will not do it for them, I'll do it for me, I want to be accepted for who

[Eve]

I am, that my weight doesn't matter.

I've let this hold me back, yes it's an excuse and I shouldn't see it like that but I do and it does. They would say they are only trying to help but to me, it hurts and I feel like I shouldn't have to deny myself and lose weight just to feel more loved and accepted.

I know I need to get it right in my own head to do it with the appropriate help and support.

I went to Weightwatchers for a bit and they have a fantastic system and think younger people can go as long as they are accompanied by an adult, not sure about the minimum age limit though. For me, I had the usual demons return but a similar environment with the right support could be educational and motivational for her depending on how much she is personally willing to buy into it.