Too young for a child?

[ChocolatChip]

I would like some of your opinions and personal experiences;
I am 20, married to a wonderful man (27) with a good job with career progression, a flat rented from our family, financial stability. Both of us are mature, and well travelled.
We feel that we are ready to have children, but I wanted to ask a few peoples opinions who were unbiased of knowing us personally.
Are we too young?

[ummmm]

Had my daughter at 18. She's a lovely, well adjusted, well mannered and respectful person. She'll be 19 soon...and I couldn't be prouder.

Given the options again I would have waited...but then again...maybe I wouldn't.

[Graham-W]

My wife and I married when she was 16. I was 23. Seven years age difference, just like you.
We had our first son the following year.
Everyone said our marriage would never last!
We married 38 years ago next month and life just gets better.
WARNING!! THIS DOESN'T WORK FOR EVERYONE.

[MissCommando]

I had my daughter when I was almost 20. To be honest, I hadn't been with my husband all that long when I fell pregnant (not that I regret it), but I do wish if she had been 'planned' that we'd had time to have holidays, enjoy ourselves as a couple a bit more.

If you do feel ready, then why not! I've always said I'd rather be a younger mum than an older one. Also, my husband has health/mobility probs so I am glad I had her when I did because he was so hands on and fab and he couldn't be now.

Good luck with what you decide but it sounds as though you're ready/made up your mind :)

[what..the?]

i don't have children yet and I'm 29 but thats because

a) I didn't really have a proper childhood so I want to have fun before I get tied down with a child and I haven't traveled much either

b) not married yet we have been together 9 years but we just don't feel like we had to prove our love by getting married

c) I don't really like children I find them annoying

d) I want to be out of rented and own my own home which is secure and allow me to make changes to the house for baby like screwing in baby gates etc, don't want to ask the landlord for everything.

But if your sure? is there anyway of demo -ing by being up all night with a crying baby etc?

[welshlibranr]

Maybe, at twenty you arw young!.....but are you both ready to start a family?...big commitment!.....bigger than you can ever imagine!............if you are both very sure then go ahead, if not, wait awhile, you have time on your side!.........

[karenmac60]

If you both feel you are ready then why not? I had my daughter at 24 and she's now 14 and I'm still young enough to keep up with her :) The one thing I would say is that I agree with missc about taking some time to enjoy yourselves first though. You might be well travelled, but have you made the most of having fun together yet? Cos that'll pretty much go out the window for a while. Good luck x

[craft1948]

I had my daughter at 21 and stayed home with her until she started school.............then my career began.

[joko]

i really wouldnt yet if i were you...i know you say you feel you are mature and well travelled etc...and maybe you are somewhat, but the fact still remains...you only left highschool 4 years ago... !

i felt very grown up all through school...maybe compared to others i was, but i know now i wasnt obviously...i am not saying you are not grown up...i am just saying our perception of ourselves changes and isnt what others see ...but i dont think you are as experienced as you think...simply because there hasnt been time for you to be ...

some good points made too -
your career might stall while others at your level bypass you...
once they are here they are here, no going back...
and theres no rush...you both have years ahead of you...
some young parents end up feeling they have missed out on some of their own life by having kids too young too

i am 39 and the thought of having kids still doesnt interest me...i do have a worry that i am pushing my luck a bit now...but still...im not just going to have them because of that...i want it to be for the right reasons...

you are really only just an adult, so i would get yourself sorted with your own lives first for a while, do what you want, be free, and enjoy your youth while you can...

(my dad is 83 and mum is 72 by the way, they waited a wee while too)

[coriander2]

I had my first child at just 21 and don't regret it whatsoever.Also, children surely benefit from having grandparents who are not too old to enjoy them as well. If your husband has a good job and you have a decent home, I would say go for it. By the time I was 40, my children had grown up and I was still young myself. I think its important by the way to have someone reliable to give you and your husband a break now and again by babysitting occasionally, so that you can have quality time together. I thoroughy enjoyed bringing my children up andwish the same for you.Good luck.

[cazzz1975]

I agree with coriander, go with what you feel is right for you and your oh chocolatechip.