First thing to say is that anyone who has invested in a relationship and developed strong feelings will not want to see it end, but that does not mean that keeping it going is the right thing to do. Sometimes it is better overall to draw a line and start afresh.
The other thing is that one can't really convince another to stay in a relationship that they are not happy with. Ultimately it is something both individuals need to want to repair, or it simply isn't going to work. There is no magic phrase you can use, it takes two, not one.
You admit to having had, or more to the point still having problems. Indeed the list isn't short, including verbal abuse, scaring the one you say you love with violence, jealousy, insecurity, lack of trust. Seriously if your partner was like that would you consider it a recommendation ? I think you need to solve your list of problems first and then go look for someone who unquestionably wants your company, not one who is finding it difficult to get away.
Sort yourself out first, then go find someone else. The odds must be against your ex giving it yet another go after all the aborted reunions so far.