How well do long distance relationships really work?

[Leapers]

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and he is moving abroad this week to work, we have lived together for the last three months as he didn't have a house after his contract ended and it was brilliant! But how well do you think long distance relationships work as we are going from spending 80% of our time together to not seeing him until christmas at the earliest?

Thanks for any help or advice!

[ummmm]

Depends how much you love each other and how loyal you both are.

[roxie_09]

I was with an ex for 2 years, this was a long distance relationship, although this was from the start so we did not know any different. It's easier I think these days, as I know it's not the same, it's easier to stay in regular contact through emails etc. Good luck x

[Sqad]

Prognosis for long distance relationships is poor in my opinion and experience.
It can, in exceptional circumstances work.

[fliptheswitch]

personally, I just don't see the point.
However, I've known people who it's worked for. My sister met a man in Peru, whilst travelling, and they continued their relationship via Skype, facebook, phone for the next year. They're now married with a child and a baby on the way.. so it can definitely work!
Wouldn't be for me though. I'd be too lonely.

[Leapers]

I think we are both very loyal to each other and i would certainly not cheat but i think i agree with fliptheswitch with just being lonely is what is going to make it difficult for me although he is only abroad for a year afterwards i do not know what i will be doing as i am at university in my final year and will be moving on potentially when he comes back!
We will be using skype and emails and everything and keep in touch regularly but i am just not sure if i can manage such a long time!

[Postdog]

I think it works if you have history, and you do. As said, it is also way easier to stay in touch these days.

[fliptheswitch]

I think, leapers, you will just have to see how it all goes.
You never know, the time apart may make your relationship stronger.
You may also find that it ends up being more of a friendship, which is better than perhaps just calling it a day.
I think it also matters if either one of you have a jealous nature. That person would always be wondering what the other one was upto, and that would drive you absolutely crazy!
I'd just see how it goes. I think you'll realise pretty soon if it's working out or not. Good luck :)

[Leapers]

I think i am quite a jealous person or atleast have been in the past but i don't think i am so bad now, i trust him! Think it is just going to be one of those see how it goes things, i see us as more of best friends in a relationship than just being boyfriend and girlfriend. I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship if maybe it didn't work out how we want it.
Thanks for your help!

[DTCwordfan]

It will be a good test of your love for each other - it may not work, but then on the other hand........would you move to him if he proposed

[emu777]

As you're both students (?) I think it's good that you are both pursuing your goals. When the time comes to settle down and one person decides to head off for a year that's a bit different!..when he comes back you both might move somewhere together and start a whole new chapter...
Remember absence makes the heart grow fonder and what's for you won't pass you!
Oh and one more...if you set him free and he comes back than you know he's truely yours...;)))

[Leapers]

We are both students but he is doing a language course which is four years and therefore moving to the country for a year to work so when he comes back i have finished my three year course while he still has a year to go. I would love it that when he comes back i stay close by to the area to see him a lot more but as i am in the middle of nowhere anyway what work i could find i am not sure and don't really know what i want to do after anyway.

[chattykathy]

My daughter and her now husband went to separate universities for 4 years. For one of those he was in Germany for a year and then she went to live in London for a 6 months. They always stayed true to each other and there was no queston of them going out with anyone else. They married 2 and a half years ago and now have a 10 week old baby. Ah bliss! I suppose it depends how commited you are and it sounds as if you two are. Communication is so much easier now, talk, email, facebook each other every day and I'm sure you'll get through. Good luck x

[joeluke]

'How well do long distance relationships really work?'

Short term they do, long term they don't

[ChocolatChip]

I think that if you're needing to ask this question then you're already pretty confident that it's not going to work out, you seem to be looking for an excuse for it not to work, in my opinion anyway.
If you love him, and you intend to stay together for a long time, then a year away from each other is liveable.
I was with a boyfriend for a year, where he lived down in london and I lived up north. It was actually living together that destroyed the relationship in the end!

If you're truly commited to each other, and you're prepared to wait. Then of course it can work.

[Leapers]

No chocolatchip i am not looking for an excuse for it not to work, i want it to work with everything i have but i was more looking for other peoples experiences that if 95% of people who have had a long distance relationship it didn't work out for, well then i would be trying extra hard to make it work and trying to be one of the lucky few it did. I can't say that i am not prepared for it not to work as i think that would be foolish but i am giving it everything ive got as i really want this to work out!
ChattyKathy thats a lovely story my boyfriend is also heading to Germany and i am hoping for a happy ending like that! Thanks

[boxtops]

It worked fine for me - I only saw OH once a month for the best part of a year. You have to trust each other, and not keep wondering what the other half is doing. What you have to do is make your own life while he's away, not just spend the time pining, so that when you meet up, you are both interesting and have things to tell each other.

[chattykathy]

I really hope it works out for you, Leapers! I would definitely take boxtops' advice

[Leapers]

I am certainly trying to do new things and see more of those friends you have but dont really see often mostly to take my mind off him not being around but also to have something to talk about when he asks what i have done with my day! Thanks for your help!

[AlBags]

In my opinion ... They Don't!