Over reaction to absent hubbie overnight??

[Smowball]

To cut very long story short, my OH was due to meet friends to watch a footie match on Saturday at about noon, and was then due home for dinner in the eve.I last got a txt at 6 pm saying he was still with them all in pub. so I replied saying ok, when do you think you will be leaving as it was about an hour home. He always always txts wen on train home. That was the last I heard from him. i left it a few hours, by now it was getting late. I rang his mobile but no reply. I didnt know the numbers of anybody that he was with, and this was totally out of character.By 1 am I was in such a state that I called the police, who were very lovely and although they didnt come round they told me to keep them updated.Morning came and still no word or sign, then about 8am I suddenly realised that I did have a mob number for the main friend that he met as it was on an invitation he had given us months ago. I flung open drawers and finally fouund it. called it but just rang out so left and voicemail and then a text. Half an hour later the friend calls to say that my OH got a bit the worse for wear and fell asleep on his sofa, and they couldnt call me as his mob started to play up! Says he was on his way home now.So I straight away call police to tell them the update and while Im on the phone to them he walked in the door. Not a sorry, not an apology, just sat down to watch tv. Well Im sorry but I exploded. I had imagined all sorts of things and the relief as seeing him was just too much. he did just sit there and take everything I said but still looked bemused and best he could come up with was that it wasnt planned. But when somebody has never ever done that in 8 years then I was bound to think the worse wasnt I??

[RATTER15]

I agree ummmm, its not just about respect for your partner, its about self respect as well, falling about and drunk to the point where you lose control of all bodily functions and p!ss in your pants!! I would never want to be associated with that kind of person, male or female, If I was drinking with anybody who got like that, I would ensure they are safe and leave them where they fell.

[mrs.chappie]

My first reaction when reading this was, "What a pudding!"

I'm normally a very understanding person and I hate violent behaviour but I'm afraid this would've pushed me over the edge. Worrying about him all night, imaging all sorts of horrors? He'd be wearing his dinner over his head, I'm afraid.

I'm foaming at the mouth on your behalf here, Smowball. :o)

Morning peeps. x

[mrs.chappie]

^^^^I didn't type pudding. I typed tw@@t. (Sorry Ed).

[ummmm]

RATTER - yes, if it happened on a regular basis. This is a one off though...hopefully he won't do it again. Lesson learnt and all that...

[China Doll]

I don't think it's a particular overreaction, I'd be furious. I couldn't give a monkeys about the getting bladdered on a night out or staying out all night but I would expect one text (even if it was from a friend) to say you're not coming home so that I can go about my evening in peace and without worrying and that is what I would be angry about.

That said, I'd probably not be able to keep my bad mood up for longer than a day as I just can't be bothered to be that angry for that long, it's draining.

[nannybooby]

I would have been worried too and had a sh~t fit the next day same as you. However its over and done now dont hold a grudge if it was just a slip theres no point and if he has a problem , work or some where he will tell you after this.

[Kassee]

I know exactly how you feel - I would have thought the worse too. Have you thought of playing him at his own game. Arrange to go out with mates, text him to say you'll be home soon, and then turn your mobile off and stay the night somewhere.

If he is not worried about you at all - I expect you will be mortified. If he is worried frantic - well, now he knows how you felt - serve him right.

[ummmm]

Kassee - That is childish game playing.

[Smowball]

space-cadet, I had nobody else to phone - he didnt arrive home which was totally out of character, he wasnt answering his phone - what on earth was I supposedf to do or how long was I meant to have left it before doing something?? when he could have been laying in a blooming alleyway sumwhere!

[beso]

My wife's ex made a habit of spending nights out drinking with no contact. She used to be worried sick about what might have happened to him. She eventually dealt with it by not caring so much about him.

And that is ultimately why he became her ex.

[Smowball]

i agree China Doll, everybody else - If I just had a simple txt to say dont worry, he's out cold on the sofa and dont expect him home tonight then I would have at least known where he was and gone to bed not worrying.

[ummmm]

I'm presuming his mates were drunk as well....

[Smowball]

they are all Irish and drink like fish............

[ummmm]

lol...

Maybe that explains my understanding.

[andy-hughes]

I can understand the circumstances that lead to a sleepness night for you, but not his apparent unwillingness to accept that he behaved badly, and to apologise.

I think you should have a talk to him about consideration and respect - sounds like he forgot about those, as well as letting you know he was OK.

[pa___ul3]

If I done that I'd expect both barrells, and I don't even live with my lass, she just likes me to let her know I'm home, or at least say good night if I'm staying out.
I'd say he know's he's been a pudding (I did type pudding 'cus I think that's an appropriate term!) and he'll probably be expecting a verbal battering which is probably why he didn't apologise straight away. Could be just a case of preparing himself, being so hung over he'd been thinking 'oh god I can't handle what I'm about to face' and just put the defences up.
I know my lass would make sure I made it up to her so make sure he knows you're going to milk it!

[ummmm]

I'd milk it :-)

I find it strange that you don't have his mates numbers. I have all his mates numbers...and their girlfriends/wives...

[Messi_Ten]

He has a session with his mates and you call the police! I'm not surprised he stayed out all night, bet he enjoyed his bit of freedom.