Lies

[carliex]

So yesterday I was making an important phone call while my partner took my daughter in the other room (not her dad) his phone bleeped so I picked it up saw a girls name, I handed it to him and said you have a txt as iv always trusted him I thought nothing of it as I no he new this girl. When he opened the txt he said oh it's just phil from work :-s so I said no it wasnt I saw who it was why did u lie? He said he wasn't lieing and made me question myself on what I saw! after an hour he told me he lied to save me from gettin hurt about a girl txting him! iv never ever not trusted him as we have the best relationship ever! So I don't understand if he has nothing to hide why he thought I'd be upset? anyone eles think this??

[carliex]

He has 2 phones a work one and a normal one this was on this normal phone

[carliex]

And yes I confronted him, he lied for about an hour then told me

[Postdog]

OMG, I notice all the women are stirring it! being secretive doesn't make him a liar or worse. I'm suffering from periodic trust issues myself because my partner cannot stand a female best friend (platonic) who I knew for ten years before I met her, and mistrusts ANY communication with her no matter how innocent. I wouldn't mind, I'm miles away now. So I keep quiet.

It's got to the stage where I daren't even mention her name in conversation and it bugs me. What she has got to realise is that if she feels she can't trust me then we have no future anyway, and I'm keeping quiet to avoid hassles - he may be doing the same.

[Nini74]

i'd be concerned as to why he decided to lie in the first place. And especially that he continued the lie for an hour. Did he show you the text to prove it was innocent? Like you say, you don't know if he's lied about it before. I prefer to tell my hubby straight away if anyone phones or texts me, and he does the same if its his ex (we had an issue in the past about this, and i explained that so long as i knew he'd spoken with her or text, then i'd have no problem - its the not knowing and then feeling like there must be something to hide). In all fairness, if he speaks with her, he tells me about it and i'm perfectly fine with that. In the past, when he didn't tell me, or even lied about it to "save my feelings", that's when we had trouble. I would ask to see his phone so you can see just how often they text eachother - but once this is resolved,don't go cutting yourself up about it - tell him its the fact that he lied that upset you, and that thats what wil cause a problem in the future. good luck x

[carliex]

Well that's the thing I have never minded him having a girl mate at all iv never had trust issue with him which makes it worse that he lied cus now I do have a trust issue with him! And all I think about now when I look at him is, is he making a fool of me! I can truly say before this he spoke to and had lots of girl Mates and it never once crossed my mind not to trust him! So I'm nothing like ur misses so he had no reason to lie!

[ummmm]

How long have you been together?

[welshlibranr]

Oh sadly, if he felt he needed to hide the text!.....he must have something to hide!.......

[carliex]

2 years iv known him since being a kiddy.

[Teddy_boy]

Maybe hes secretly seeing Phil from work? Hes cried for hours because hes leading a double life and is having an affair with another man.

[carliex]

Haha now it's starting to sound like a soap teddy boy

[ummmm]

It could be completely innocent on his part. It could be what she text him that made him automatically lie.

[Teddy_boy]

Soaps do often reflect life and vise versa.

[carliex]

Maybe but I'll never no and thats what I can't get my head around! What if I chose to believe him and end up getting hurt? And what if I end things and he was genuine! He lied to me hoe do you ever learn to trust someone again after that?

[ummmm]

I think it's a bit drastic to end things over this.

Even if this didn't happen he could end up hurting you at some point. You don't know what the future holds.

[elliemay1]

It seems unusual to me to still get flowers every month aftr being together 2 yrs. He's either very attentive or feeling guilty. Also the crying would worry me. Did you ask to see the txt or had he deleted it? If it was deleted I'd def be suspicious.

[ummmm]

If he's always done it then it's not unusual.

[maggiebee]

Don't think it particularly strange that a woman would be texting your partner. I have many married male friends whom I occasionally text about various things. What I do find strange is that he felt the need to lie to you. Think you need to talk (not argue) to him about this.

[welshlibranr]

it's a hard one to call carlie!........think I'd wait a while, see how things go!...he may or may not be a rat!.....thinking at the moment that he is a rat!......sorry!.......

[Teddy_boy]

If his name is Tom Jones then i guess its not unusual?