If love is the highest emotion then why does it not work both ways?

[postage]

I’ve known a friend for over 15 years ---well he’s more then a friend. But we don,t live together.
Due to some technical problems within life styles.
He claims he loves me but I have never loved him but got used to having someone around when needed.
He’s obsessive and very insecure. He’s moody and can turn on you at the slightest of thing.
Last two years I’ve completely gone off him and find it very difficult even to sleep with him!!!! What should I do.

Because lack of passion he swears at me a lot

[postage]

Gross!!
Thanks you must live in a perfect world then?? Look around you how many people live the way they do cuz hthey don,t have a choice. You are talking about this country and not the promised land??

[katdarn79]

You have got a choice though! ask yourself what your getting from this. Is there any good parts?

[B00]

What are you drivvling on about?

Are you saying you don't have a choice but to sleep with him? What a load of rollocks!

Grow a backbone and stop sleeping with him, and tell him to sling his hook.

[pastafreak]

Stop making excuses,and get yourself some pride. He's just using you-buy him a blow-up doll. There will be just as much passion for him with that.
You have the ability to make choices-and this has been a bad one...you may as well charge him if you feel so bad about having sex with him. Why do it in the first place?

[postage]

Boo
That’s the answer I wanted but was,nt sure- he sometimes helps me out finically and in day and age you kind of need some help in that department.
By the time you have finished paying your council tax --- mortgage--- and giving government all you can.
There isn’t much left but surely there must be something he has done to make me feel this way.I kind of felt that he took advantage of my troubled times in the past --- may be cuz now that the troubles are over I can sit back and reflect on how you don,t need to sell your self short.
Funny thing we can get on well as friends its just the sex thing that puts dampner on things and starts to f… and x,,,
And c…. and starts to get really nasty. Surely a man and a woman can be just friends
Surely.

[EvianBaby]

So you sleep with him in return for money?

Nice.

[pa___ul3]

for people to be friends, not even just man and woman, there needs to be mutual respect, and for there to be mutual respect, there first has to be self respect. Without wanting to sound too harsh, I think you both need to work on the latter!

[postage]

This is the point I am trying to make yes in the past he has given me money to help me out but under the impression that we were or are a couple but then I felt obliged to do. So he then kept saying I’ll give you some money to help you out but then asked me out on the same night!! Assuming I would.

I am sure he could go and buy a woman he has money --- in fact he can pay for a professional and get full works where me I struggle cusp I think he’s ugly.

[B00]

Are we sure this isn't a wind up as Ratter suggested?

If not you come across as horribly cold and callous postage.

[jackthehat]

Stop taking his money.
Stop sleeping with him.

It really is that simple.

[RATTER15]

Of course its a wind up!!!

[B00]

alright alright Ratter, calm down ;-)

[EvianBaby]

I'm now running through a list in my head of the people that have lent me money over the past few years.

Yep, I'm about to vom too.

[postage]

boo this is not wind up - see the world from a different angle mate, life is,y fun and games and there are womena and men who get abused every day

[jackthehat]

But you are doing this willingly...........!?!

You don't live with him and you could sever all ties without much trouble!

[B00]

Yes of course there are postage, but if they could do something about it they would.

Surely you're not that incapable of taking charge of your own life and telling this guy to bugger off if you dislike him that much?

And if you are just doing him for the money...then put up and shut up i'm afraid. Every "favour" comes with a payback, if your payback is money, then pretend he's Brad Pitt or something while he's with you.

[postage]

Boo
You have got a point – I thought about it I don’t really need he’s bit of money either now I manage well. I am not rich I work 7 days ( not lying down!! Lol) but proper job and yes it pays me £6.30 an hour but hey its all good. I got used to he’s bit of help but not he’s passion… I can’t pretend he’s brad/ or any other georgous hunk he’s just him.

I know what I have to do—you’ve all been great and honest apart from some who said this is wind up---- how can it be??
If I feel sick at the thought of doing it with him

[Old_Geezer]

I'm unsure who has the authority to rank emotions.

If unhappy with a relationship then decide if it is worth saving or not. If not then end the relationship.

If it is worth saving talk it over with the other and see what can be agreed for change and find out if the compromises made and undesired behaviour tolerated will fix the problems. If your reach an acceptable position, then fine. If not don't waste all your life trying to fix what is incompatible.

[postage]

Hey OG how are you, your usually very wise but some relationships are like bad habbit. Someone there someone your use its hard start again and hard work too.

But you get to a point where you know what your in is no good for you but you just need that re-assurence. I can’t understand how some people just don’t understand that life is not easy – but I am going to tell him to hit the road.
And enjoy being single and free….

[Brinjal]

"slip out the back jack, make a new plan stan." 50 ways to leave your lover. life is too short to be bothered people you dont even appear to like anymore. Everyone deserves to be with someone they really care about. you do and even he does. do both yourselves a favpur and move on