PLEASE PLEASE HELP.. WITH MY RELATIONSHIP!!

[scruffbag]

My 53 year old husband was made redundant 2 months ago from a well paid job. He is a changed person. I find him hard to live with. We have also had serious health problems, with all our elderly parents.
I am not coping with the situation, I feel my depression is returning. He is very short tempered.
How do you live from day to day?
Please help me!

[bookbinder]

Perhaps an outside interest - for each of you - might help? It might get you both out of the house, and each other's hair, for a while.

[woofgang]

Can you go and talk to your GP?

[scruffbag]

Yes, I will thanks, but I feel I need other advise, apart from what my GP can offer.

[mandy22]

perhaps your husband would benefit from counselling to help him come to terms with the redundancy thing, and have you got a good friend who you could talk to in confidence? you both need time too, to deal with a major change that has happened in both your lives, good luck to you both

[tamborine]

Reflect on the past and what he means to you. It could be worse when he's gone.

This is his blip and with your support he will find a way out of his dilemma.

[pizza]

So sorry to hear about your situation scruffbag and this must be so hard for you both.
From your husbands point of view he must be so devasted to have lost his job and what the future holds and probably feels from no fault of his own he has let you down, then theres the added pressure from the parents health problems, you must feel helpless.
Mandy22 made a good answer about counselling,sometimes we all need that bit of extra outside help and support.
As well you know the support on the site is fantastic sometimes we need to look further.
Best of luck and keep us informed x

[lilacben]

scruff I am so sorry to hear about your husband and him losing his job. The same thing has happened to my husband, well three times in all. He is now 63 and works doing little jobs wherever he can. Now I know there is a ten year age gap but this was the last redundency he went through. What he did when he was also in his 50's was to go to the job center,join there weekly meetings and took all there advise. Plus he put on his suit and went around to different companies asking if they had any vacancies. He found that was the best way to do it. Not phone or sendemail or letter. But go in person. It did make him short tempered and I felt on tender hooks all the time.I really do feel for him and you. But it did pay and he got a job offered to him that wasnt even advertised. With the worry of your parents as well it isnt easy. Tell him it isnt the end of the world, although I expect he feels like he has been rejected from the job front. And worthless. But he isnt and with you both looking forward together things will turn out ok. Get him to claim for everything he can , as they are not allowed to tell you what you can claim for. And if you arent working he can claim for you. Let us know how things go. Best wishes to you both. Brenda xx

[scruffbag]

many thanks to everyone.

[wakeover]

Difficult to even chance at an answer since far more information is needed.
Confronting him with your issues is essential to make him aware of the impact he is making but can you do anything to dissipate his anger?
Suggest a holiday...perhaps.
If he was well paid then he, presumably, is qualified in his field so suggest he trains to be a teacher...a facilitator...a mentor... to give back and to re-establish his self-esteem.
Sorry I can't be more helpful.