How do I get my best friend back?

[FakePlasticTrees]

This is probably gonna be a paragraph explaining stuff and I'm sorry about that but I'm really depressed about this.

I had a best friend, and we were like ultra close, I've never been so close with someone in my whole life, I've never really let someone in. And because I never see my real sisters for various reasons which I dont want to talk about I felt like she was almost replacing that.

I always felt like I had to look after this girl even though she's a few months older than me, we talked about everything and had so much fun.

I got her with her recent former boyfriend and ever since I got them together (because I wanted her to be happy) she just wasnt the same, she kept forgetting to see me or speak to me, she started talking to me like I wasn't much to her at all, like she didn't care much... so then I said something about her not caring about anyone and her family and we had a massive row, and then we fell out. And EVER since, there's been a great resentment, all her friends hated me and threatened me and I even dropped out of college (which was the pathway to my dream) and moved away because they wouldn't stop bothering me and having a go at me (baring in mind they were all my friends before).

We both missed each others 18th birthdays, and that was upsetting. I really do feel like a part of me is missing without her, I don't know what to do because she's the kindof person if I came back and said sorry she wouldnt come back, she would just push me out... I want to be there for her all the time, when I see her write stuff about how upset she is about her former boyfriend and her family letting her down and stuff I just wanna be like a sister again and tell her it's okay but I can't because I know she won't let me.

She hates me I know that, I used to hate her guts too just after it all happened because she put me through so much and wouldnt let it go. I suffer from anxiety now where I'm just so closed off and can't cope with very much. Everybody tells me she's not worthit, and I know she shouldnt be for what she put me through. But to me it feels like I'm grieving over a dead person, because she's changed... it hurts so much I don't know what to do!

(We havent spoken for almost 6 months btw)

[Smowball]

Hi FPT - it sounds like that when she got with this boyfriend she did what a lot of people do which is neglect their friends for a while, and that obviously and understandably annoyed you. Am not quite sure why she reacted so badly when you told her this but it seems like its got completely out of hand. I went through something similar but with my dad. There was a misunderstanding and he refused to speak to me,hung up the phone if I called, it was terrible. i was so upset. Then i decided to give it one last try and i wrote him a letter, being very careful not to sound cross, or to blame anybody. He actually replied to the letter, but didnt mention the row. I still havent seen him but he now emails me regularly so if i were you I would send her a letter telling her how much you valued her friendship. Good luck xx

[boxtops]

Do you have any other friends, FPT? what do they feel about it? when I was your age, friendships changed all the time. However - if she's moved on, you might not be able to do anything about it.

[rowanwitch]

Why would you want her back really... Look at her reaction and that of your 'ex friends' are they really people you deserve to mix with... rise above it find new friends leave them behind...You may simply be out growing one another

[XxAbbieXx0987]

people always change when they have a BF because they are worried to loose them Isnt there anyone else who u could talk to ? maybe talk to ur mum or family anyone you can trust <3

[dinki]

So sorry to hear your experience, I like you had someone I was very close to until something happened and she betrayed me. As I worked with her it was difficult, it took time but I moved on, never felt the same again. I am sure you will find other friends, just work at it, try not to get too close too soon. It also might be an age thing, you could pick up your course at another college, why give up on your dream. I was always told that such things strengthen you, did not feel like it at the time, but now many years later I realise that it was a lesson learned.
Luckily I moved on and now have very close friendships with others, so do not give up. Just be a bit more careful next time. She probably is embarrassed because of how she treated you, but who need friends that can treat you this way. You deserve better.

Take care of yourself.

[cathfromsaron]

i would put the past to rest by checking she is ok and happy, then find a new circle of friends who will respect and value you!

[Le Chat]

I agree with Rowanwitch here FPT. To be honest, she doesn't sound very nice to me and it sounds like the moment you weren't completely lovely to her, or had a genuine gripe then she dropped you like a ton of bricks and the obviously must've spread rumors about you if all the other 'so called' friends turned against you.
Judging by what you've just written about this situation, if you did try to make up with her, she'd just humiliate you furthur and you'd feel worse.
It may be hard but sometimes you just have to accept the way it is but you will survive!