holding back?

[lilmissblush]

i know this sounds so stupid but from the age of 12 ive always wanted to join the army, i broke my arm when i was 13 and had metal put in so i guess i forgot the idea. i moved on with life and settled with looking after children.
when i turned 18 the idea popped back in my head for a bit but thought i could never do it.
now i have a boyfriend who works in the army and goes on about how good it is.
ive just left my job from extremely bad bullying, im having no luck at the moment finding another nursery and the idea wont get out of my mind.

i dont think i could do it, im unfit, i smoke and drink a bit like most teens.
my boyfriend says that hes going over next year which riddles me with worry but it also sounds exciting and adventurous.

ive always wanted to make something out of my life, look back and not regret what ive done but i just feel like im being silly and this phase will pass.

But am i holding myself back?

[Prudie]

reading your post suggests you are feeling unfulfilled and this may not go away as you get older. As you seem to be keen on the military but are lacking in confidence to try that big step have you thought about joining the TA?

[EcclesCake]

Visit your local Service recruiting office and talk to them.

Better to regret what you have done rather than you've not done.

[lilmissblush]

that's what my boyfriend is
i dont have the confidence to be honest, i feel they would laugh at me

[Prudie]

Who's going to laugh at you? I've met very very few people who have worked in the services who don't count it as most rewarding and character building. Everyone's green at the start.

[lilmissblush]

but im just someone who is so unfit and smokes cause she gets upset, i dont know if i will like it and if i could keep up with it

also, dont you think my boyfriend would be a bit freaked out if i joined up a month after meeting him?

[MASS1961]

" tis Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all"

So get fit, and go talk to the recruiting office and find out.
If you really, really want this, it sounds to me that you'll always regret not trying.

Perhaps your boyfriend would actually be quite proud?