Remaining friends?

[Pinerello]

Long story on the circumstances .. but is it possible to stay friends with someone who you've declared your feelings for but was told they wasn't ready to start a new relationship because their last one ended so badly but who has now started dating someone else?

[Pinerello]

Your right joko. She knows I'm upset but I haven't got annoyed with her.. I would say disappointed. After all if this other guy can make her more happier than I could then I'm going to have to accept it. My original question is can we still be friends and share what we had before given that we now have history between us?

[888sally888]

Yes, I think you can be friends but only if you really accept that you will never be with her as a 'couple'.

Don't waste your precious time holding on for her - as a woman I can see that she was trying to let you down gently.

[Pinerello]

Many thanks for all your replies. All your advice has been invaluable. I have to realise that this is a relationship that is never going to be. Life can be harsh sometimes but we learn from it and move on. I think we are still close enough to remain friends. I know my friend won't contact me first and I'm not sure how long I should leave it before I get in touch again? I guess time will tell if this is a friendship that's going to last even longer.

[pizza]

Maybe send her a good wishes for the future card,as a friend let her know you wish her all the best for the future and whatever happens you will be there as a friend, which you really do need to realise that's all she wants from you if you can't accept this just leaving her to her life is probably best for you and her.

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

Next time you see something that you know would make you both laugh, text her and say OMG did you see this? Hilarious! and TA-DA!, ice broken.
Be normal. That's what friends do.

[pizza]

It must be really hard for you Pinerello having feeling for someone and they don't feel the same.
I have a male friend who I used to work with he's married but she is in bad health and through him she is a dear friend of mine now.
We had a bit of a sad time at work ( death of a lovely resident) he gave me a hug and tried to kiss me and told me how much he thought of me !
I told him straight I don't want to lose you as a friend but carry on like this it will happen.
5 years on we are still great friends but I know given the chance he would cheat on his wife.
I hope you manage to stay friends because good friends are hard to come by, and I hope you can move on and find someone worthy of your love x

[Pinerello]

Thank you for your kind words pizza. So kind. Yes its difficult knowing she is with someone else but she still means the world to me and I would still do anything for her. I've known her a very long time and it would be silly to throw away such a long standing close friendship. I have no idea if her new relationship will last or not because like I've said he's much older than her and without sounding harsh or cynical a little overweight. Not the type I thought she would ever go for. Course I would never tell her that, after all it's her choice at the end of the day. But he's an old family friend and a very popular member of the community and they share a similar tragedy in their lives. With him it was his best friend who took his own life. She said it was because of this he understood more than most of what shes been through and they got close. That's why I think it's more an emotional attachment rather than a physical one. Time will tell if it will last or not but I will be there for her whatever happens. At the end of the day I have to realise that if he can make her happier than I can then I can only be happy for her even if it does break my heart..

[pizza]

You're welcome Pinerello x
This lady will always remain special in your life and I hope she appreciates you for the person you are.
At the moment she is drawn to this other guy because of the similar circumstances, she hopefully will remain your friend but you really do need to stand back and let her have this time, and you need to get out this coming weekend and have some fun.
A life on hold is a wasted one x

[grasscarp]

I would say no, unless magically you both lose a feeling for each other at the same moment. Normally one has moved on and the other is hanging in there hoping to get them back. Best way IMHO is to stay completely out of it without staying chatty and friendly and if they want you back at a later stage you can pick it up.