Child's Behaviour

[carliex]

My daughter turned 4 in December, she has always been a loving, shy quite and very happy little girl. I have never really experienced bad behaviour apart from the odd trantum all children have. She sees her dad for tea in the week and over night at weekend and has done since she was 1 years old. Recently me and my partner of 3 years split and me and my daughter have moved in with my parents for a while, her behaviour is awful and I have tried everything. Iv not been letting her get away with it but Iv also understood why she is acting out, her dads been coming to see her more often so that she has lots of loving people around her but the hitting, screaming and basically just not listening is so hard to deal with. Today she has already thrown her toys on the floor and refused to pick them up and then turned grand ads telly off because I told her off. She throws herself on the floor and won't get dressed. If I try and sit and talk to her or cuddle her she kicks and smacks and screams, but she also so so emotional and will cry for no reason. She hasn't slept through for 2 weeks and often wakes crying to go home! Last weekend her dad had to bring her back to me for the first time as she was just so upset. Any advice is welcome? I really want to help her through this.

[smurfchops]

Maybe she felt settled when you were with your partner, she might be confused over seeing her dad at odd times, and feels strange now living elsewhere, even though it is with your loving parents. She needs a stable home, with you and lots of cuddles, perhaps not with your parents, and lots of seeing her own dad. She may be missing your partner and possibly a loving family in that way.

[karenmac60]

She sees her dad, but does she see your ex partner? She won't know that he is not her biological relation and if you were together for 3 years then he has been a big part of her life. I don't know if you want to still have him in you or your daughter's lives, but if you don't then you might have to put up with this behaviour for a while till she comes to terms with him not being around.

[DaisyNonna]

You are surprised and cannot understand her reaction? She is 4 years old and cannot understand the changes in her life. You are her main carer and should be able to help her to adjust. New place to live, loss of a father figure. Lots of reasons for her to cry. Lost her dad, lost her surrrogate dad. Who will she lose next? Children need to feel secure. Why should she not want to go home? You took her away, so she assumes it is your fault.

[Mamyalynne]

I have to agree with the others, as she sees it people keep leaving her and now she is in a different place - one scared little girl I think.

Lots of reassurance is needed whilst maintaining a firm guideline on bad behaviour.