Coping With A Break Up Involving A Child

[BenchesLad]

Hi guys,

First post on here so be gentle. Bit of background...

My wife and I were together from 2003 and married in 2009. We had our son in 2008 but separated in Nov 2010. There were a few factors behind our split, the main one being money. She moved out of our home but we remained friends. We decided to try again in Feb 2011 and it went well although I still lived at the house as I was trying to sell it. For a year it was on the market but finally decided not to sell and rented it out instead in April 2012. I moved in with her from then until July. We decided that we weren't working so I moved back to my parents until I can move back to the house. If I'm totally honest, it wasn't that I didn't love her, I just couldn't feel comfortable in the flat she lived in but she didn't want to move back to our old house as she didn't like the area.
Last week she told me that she'd seen me on a dating site (I was on there less than a week and only to shut people up, that's the truth). I have since removed myself as I am not ready to date and if I'm honest I don't want anyone else. She's my life and the thought of me without her and my son together is getting me so down. She has told me she is going on a date tomorrow and that she's been talking to a guy for the past two weeks.
I am heartbroken as I never really wanted to break up with her. It hurt because after 10 years together, I'd have thought 6 months is a bit soon to start looking for someone else.
She told me yesterday she doesn't love me which was a crushing blow as I still do. I think of the memories we have together, the pics and also my little boy asking why daddy doesn't stay when I go round to see her. I'm truly truly heartbroken as I did see us growing old together.

I have told her that I want her back, I'll change for her, give up smoking, do more things together. I just want my wife and son back.
Has anyone been in this situation? I am hurting so much that this is the hardest thing I've had to ever deal with, and I've been through a lot in my 37 years.

Thank you for your time

[BenchesLad]

Mags, she's not that kind of person.

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

Tambo this is not a peeing contest.

[tamborine]

you've lost me mojo......obviously you know best

[joko]

she may just be tryign tp save face - someone may have spotted you and she looked and joined in a sort of 'not bothered' way - she clearly is ... although that doesnt mean she wants you back, maybe just that its a bit weird

you must just be an all round undertanding great fun guy to her - show her how you were and can be again. you have to 'inspire' in her the desire to be with you - i dont mean make her jealous - just make her want to be around you by being all the things you were when you met.

show no judgement, angst, regret, anger, jealousy etc

[Nay37]

If you love them set them free and if it is meant to be they will come back to you. True Love conquers all.