Dilemma

[queenofmean]

Sometimes I wonder if OH's family actually give a hoot about him and his life.

Yet again they are expecting him to stay at home this Christmas for 2-3 weeks and look after his sisters cat. Now he said no last year because he had plans already and it didn't suit, now they want him to do it again this year. Am I not allowed to have Christmas with him or him with me? I said to him he can stay here with us and our brood other than that the answer is no. I do get on with his parents though but this is starting to try my patience not to mention his. Am I wrong to put my foot down?

[excelsior-1]

good evening queenie

E

[Samuraisan]

My goodness, Christmas plans already ?

[excelsior-1]

(try again)

expecting him - or have they asked him?

[bednobs]

surely all they are asking him is can he do it?
i preume answering no is an option?

[Psybbo]

Perhaps you and he could cat-sit and have Xmas alone?

[Psybbo]

With the cat?

[-Talbot-]

So you want to take over from his family in the bossing him about business?

[Mamyalynne]

Surely he can simply tell then he has other plans - they have ages to find a cattery or similar.

[queenofmean]

Evening Excel - I'm certain its a case that they expect him to do it. They did last year but he said he wasn't doing it.
Samuarisan - they are obviously booking the holiday that they take at Christmas.
Bednobs - he could if he wanted to (he's just texted to tell me he does not want to do it). Its like he isn't allowed to have a life. I'm a carer for my mum and I'd go over to stay if I could guarantee my dad's shifts allow. But they really don't appreciate him I don't think. They did nothing for his 30th, they expect him to drop things to do things that they want.

[bednobs]

why can't the cat go to his house?

[whiskeryron]

Most normal people would put the cat in a cattery, can they not afford the
fees ?

[whirlyhurly]

Is he a man or a mouse ? Why doesn't he speak his mind.

[queenofmean]

I would if that was an option Sib, but I can't be away from home for that length of time.
Talbot I can be bossy but I am not THAT bossy. I know that he doesn't want to do it.
That's what i'm hoping for Mamya.
Don't get me wrong I love his sisters cat but I don't know - he really isn't happy

[mazie]

Can the cat come to yours queenie?

[queenofmean]

OH lives with his parents Bednobs.
I'm sure they could afford the fees WR - they just think OH's here will get him to do it.
Whirlyhurly...hes the quiet type, he will speak it if it p's him off enough, but I think he just wants the quiet life really.

[queenofmean]

Hiya Mazie, I've given him that choice too, I'm more than happy to have the cat here

[mazie]

That sounds like a winner then queenie... you can be together and the cat can have a holiday :o)

[queenofmean]

Fingers crossed

[bednobs]

in all honesty, a 30 year old who still lives with the parents should expect to give a little cat-sitting back every now and then. It's not like he's a random lodger. if he thinks they take advantage of him, he should try moving into privately rented accommodation, then he'd really see what taking advantage is about i guess. Looking objectively, you also feel an obligation to be with your parents at their house at christmas, so it's not much different.

[joeluke]

He needs to man up and tell his parents/sister where to shove the cat