I Don't Know How To Move On

[chickpea49]

My bf and I have been going out for a year. When we first started talking I was quietly trying to deal with an ex bf who worked at the same company. I was leaving the company to get away from him and start again. I liked him but he was so wrong for me and put me down so much. I finally got the courage to get away but the only way possible in my eyes was to get s new job. This other guy now my new bf started speaking to me but when he suggested meeting up I got scared as I didn't want to start a relationship with someone at work again. I should have been honest with him back then but it just didn't feel the right thing to do when you are starting fresh. It's now all caught up with me and he says I made him feel like second best as I was still talking to this other guy. We have been to whether a year and whilst this has only come out in the last few months I can't change something that's in the past. All of us now work at different companies and I just want to move on but he keeps questioning everything, what I said what I did why I did things and why didn't I block him. Honestly I couldn't tell you it's a year ago and its not a time I want to rember and find it so difficult to explain to someone who has not been through a situation where you feel the other person is so in control.

[MallyJ]

Sounds as if he is bullying you and I have to wonder if you would do yourself a huge favour by moving on. No one deserves to be bullied. In your position I think I would make a real effort to make new friends and have a bit of time to look after myself without the disadvantage of someone in my life who keeps on going on about old stuff that really is not his business. If he is making you feel bad about yourself he is not good for you.

[Old_Geezer]

He sounds very insecure. I'm unsure why you think you need to "move on"any more that you already are; based on your description it sounds more his problem.

We don't know exactly what sort of contact you have with the ex; does he have reason to be jealous ?

You need to have a serious talk (not argument) with your present boyfriend. Come to an agreement whether the main issue is you still apparently having feeling for your ex, or he being unreasonably insecure. And to work out how solve the issue. From what you say above it seems it's a case of he learning to trust you.

If you can work it out, then great; if not then maybe it is not to be and you should look for a relationship elsewhere.

[chickpea49]

I haven't had any contact with my ex until Friday at my new job to tell me that my new boyfriend has been looking at his LinkedIn profile. I told my new bf this as I want to be honest with him

[chickpea49]

I say move on as I want him to move on he is bothered by this as I was talking to them both at the same time which in hindsight maybe I was wrong but I was talking to both for very different reasons. I was trying to keep the peace with my ex I don't like confrontation and he made me feelile I had to reply to him. I really wish I told my new bf sooner but I didn't as I wanted to start a new relationship with no baggage

[boxtops]

It's not wrong - your current man is jealous and insecure, IMO - and if he keeps nagging, it's not going to go away. You have to have it out with him - either he trusts you, in which case close the book and move on - or he doesn't. If he doesn't, your future with this guy looks unpredictable.

[Old_Geezer]

You are entitled to have friends & acquaintances outside of you and you boyfriend. I stand by by last advice re talking it through calmly and then deciding if this is a relationship killer, or whether he can get on a more reasonable mental state. It occurs to me that you may be attracted to, and be attractive to, controlling types. I may be wrong but it looks a possiblity.

[ummmm]

It sounds childish and immature.

[VHG]

Third question in 4 days about the same "problem".

[ummmm]

One was a duplicate to be fair but it does make me wonder who the problem lies with.

[Dee Sa]

make a clean break and start again, this situation is not going to get any better.