Dating

[boona]

Could you date someone who says they only find you attractive on the inside?

[Old_Geezer]

Do they still put out ?
It's not me that has to look at me. I get to look at them.

Anyway I'd not make my mind up that it'd be a long term relationship since to have mentioned it suggests they are unlikely to change their mind and so chances are they'll come to a point when they decide to move on. Had they decided that looks weren't an issue then they'd have kept those thoughts to themselves. Unless either a) they were specifically asked of b) they have a unusual sense of humour and didn't really mean it.

[boona]

I have been platonic friends for all most a year, this guy has never given the impression he wanted to date me. When we originially started talking we were taking about relationships a year ago and he mentioned that I was not his type as at the time I was being a little flirty with the conversation. Anyhow, he then found a girlfriend for a couple of months and I didnt hear from him until they split up and then he msg me to see how I were. We got back to speaking regular again and then he sent me a msg asking me if I thought you could have a relationship with "someone whom you was attractive to inwards" I told him there has to be some spark there, some attraction. He agreed. A couple of wks later he has asked me on a date. I have taken the assumption he was talking about me and he doesnt find me attractive on the outside as personality wise we have always got on well.

[murraymints]

think your friend is self indulgent and full of himself..I'd drop him !

[boona]

I am thinking the guy is probably using me, I am sure if he met someone who he was physically attracted to then he would be off ...

[Sqad]

Let's translate your question into simple terms.

Could you date someone who finds you sexually unattractive?

No I couldn't.............unless.....they were the only show in town....then i might ;-)

[boona]

I must be his only show then

[Sqad]

The only " show in town" can be quite surprising, delightful, entertaining and....satisfying.

[boona]

Now that is confusing...

[Peter Pedant]

yes but dont expect it go anywhere
( a bit like the average thread on AB like this one )

will fill the time until you find someone who finds you attractive both sides

[jd_1984]

Attractiveness is very subjective. Some will hold how attractive you are on the inside as vastly more important than the "outside". Relationships that last are probably based more on "who" the person is their personality and nature etc... BUT surely there has to be some physical attraction there in the first place even if personality is more important than looks. I would be concerned if somebody said that to me BUT don't assume his comment was about you and he will be off at the first sight of somebody who is assumed to be better looking (which like I say is hugely subjective)

[boona]

JD you are spot on, I still don't know if to carry on or not but your advise is good.

[ummmm]

Probably. I never used to find my OH attractive but the more i got to know him the better looking he got. Now I think he's gorgeous.

[Lunol]

If someone said that then wouldn't they be implying that you're not attractive to them on the outside? Which is a polite way of calling me ugly? Lol.

It's not something I've ever been told tbh and I like beauty on the outside and the inside but it's the outside which grabs me initially and then the inside grows on you especially if you click which then seals the deal and then if something blossums and grows then so be it.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

[ummmm]

But Boona is assuming.

[Mamyalynne]

I think Boona you have to consider, is he asking you out because he's now at a loose end being out of a relationship and knows you get along generally.

Or...

Has he twigged that despite thinking you weren't his type in the 'outside' department, he has realised you mean more to him than he thought.

Maybe a date or two would give you an idea of his thinking - but don't please let yourself be used.

[Quizproquo]

You are his only show. Sorry.

[boona]

Thanks for your replies, I went out on a date with him, I didn't feel any chemisty on my part. I have told him we can just be friends.