Husband Right Or Wrong.

[cris r]

hi I'm sitting here upset yet again with my husband and asking myself is it me.
After driving around in my Honda CRV for ten years my husband decided we should change it for a smaller more econominal run around, My Honda had a few chip marks on it but for a ten year old car it was in very good condition.
Two weeks ago we part exchanged it for a Toyota Aygo. When I picked it up with my son it had a few chips on it also a few light scratch marks but it was three years old and the marks were nothing that really stood out. However this evening my husband has gone mental saying that since he washed it yesterday it has three new scratches on it I disagreed with the three, maybe one on the door was small but new ? but I work in retail and no matter where i park my car I can not guarentee it will never get a mark on. I actually feel like giving my job up as i don't know how I'm suppose to say it won't happen again i have tried parking in different bays.
I can never say the right things in these situations i just get so upset because he accuses me of being negligent and not being mindful of where I park the car when i don't really have much choice.
He went out to T Cut the car then came in angry saying he will book it in to a body repair shop.
( we are not talking about a big scratch it is tiny ) this just makes me more cross and even confused if it gets knocked again I will be in more trouble, its a no win situation. I don't know how to respond to this without starting a massive row. My husband is very materealistc and also controling so i find whatever I say it is wrong. We are not youngsters we have been married forty years. I thought he would mellow as he got older, any sugestions how to handle this

[murraymints]

it's the Irish blood maybe Ummmm ! lol

[waterboatman]

You're right minty! ;o}

[cris r]

thank you so much everyone for your comments you are very helpful i think i just need reasurance from time to time. My family live away so it is usually just me and i have no one to bounce off. Fortunately my sons know what their dad can be like so I can always phone them. I agree with what most of you say and for the most part he is fine but i have to admit its only because i keep everything running smoothly. I am always watching my p/q"s and making sure everything is ok and in accordance with his OH this way we avoid any issues. My OH works full time and yes i do wonder what it would be like to have him here 24/7 ( shudder) i think i am just one of those people with a low personallity and because I work so hard to keep a tight ship running i get upset when I'm told its not good enough. Again my husband will tell everyone how good i am with the home and the gardening ( i have a huge garden ) I think because he is materialistic he likes to show of his wares. i am nothing like this. If I accidentally scratch or break something i just say oh dear and this really bothers him. I'm sure it will blow over until the next time. Thanks again xx

[ummmm]

Do you ever argue back?

[murraymints]

come here for a rant if it helps xx

[waterboatman]

You shouldn't have to put up with it cris. He does not have the right to treat you in that manner. You seem like a lovely person to me and deserve, and have the right, to be treated with respect. I wouldn't ever have treated my wife like that.

[just_George]

If its your car then its your choice whether or not you deal with the minor scratches. When he mentions its again remember that its his emotion and dont absorb it yourself, say calmly "yes it is a shame but I dont feel it needs a garage and I'll start parking in the quieter bit of the car park" that answers the problems he is having. I think you may need to repeat yourself

[woofgang]

You live your life watching your P’s and Q’s???? That’s no life.

[dave50]

It's a car, a lump of metal for goodness sake. Why does he get into such a state about a few scratches on a car? He needs to get a life and focus on what's important.