Till Death Do Us Part. Was This Ever That Realistic?

[RATTER15]

Unfortunately, after two divorces, I dont think "until death do us part" is very realistic. I wish my parents divorced when I was a baby, all I ever experienced was growing up with my parents not even speaking to one another for as long as I can remember. My father left home when I turned 18, telling me that he wanted me to be 18 before he left. He was never a decent father to me or a good husband to my Mother. If he had left when I was young, my mother could have moved on and found a decent loving husband and I could possibly have had a decent father!! I think that in the past so many couples lived a miserable life and many still do, and raised their children in an unhappy household because of these vows. We all wish our marriages to last forever but society has proven that this really isnt realistic and most likely never has been.

Of course it works for some, but in reality it isnt that many!!

[Ellipsis]

> I think that the younger couples are when they marry, the more likely they will grow apart.

Either you grow together or you grow apart.

[ferlew]

Becoming less realistic I think.
We have overcome many tribulations together in our 47 years.
Unfortunately, not everyone can or will even try to work through problems, they just hop it at the first couple of hurdles.
(Then *** off and have a divorce party)

[ferlew]

That swear began with B, ended in R, and had a ugge in the middle in case anyone thought I was effing ;)

[albaqwerty]

you swear Ferlew?!! never lol

I think some just hop it at the first hurdle and don't hang around for any more.

[ummmm]

I suppose it depends what the first hurdle was.

[Mamyalynne]

Generalisations don't work in this regard, many if not all couples hope for a long and lasting life and love together.


Death was the end for my marriage, nine years ago yesterday.

[albaqwerty]

some may divorce due a small disagreement, others may divorce due to a pay-packet being spent in the Bookies, others may divorce because they have grown weary of various bedroom demands.

[albaqwerty]

oh, mamya xx
Am so sorry

[Mamyalynne]

Thank you Alba - I didn't mean to depress the thread but that is my only take on it.

Impossible to speak for others.

[Patsy33]

I wished that my Mum had have divorced my Father when me and my sister were younger. He destroyed my confidence, always putting me down and scaring the living daylights out of me withhisi spiteful mouth. This made me grow up with anxiety issues. It never goes, although medication helps. My poor mother was a bag of nerves too. She did eventually divorce when I was married with 3 children.

[albaqwerty]

I think we can only speak from our own experiences on a lot of matters.

~One of my uncles was bereft when his beloved wife died after 40-odd years of marriage, he re-married quite quickly but unfortunately didn't have many years left ahead.

[jennyjoan]

a friend of mine when he and her about 17 - they will be 50 years married next year. You can see just visually - he is still crazy about her.

[jennyjoan]

^^^^married

[EDDIE51]

I made that vow when my wife and I got married 43 years ago. We are still together now after 43 years 5 children and 12 grandchildren.
I have never considered breaking it!

[mikey4444]

Ratter....correct me if I am wrong, but the "Death to us part" bit was invented when religion became an important part of family relationships.

As most people nowadays either don't bother to get married in the first place, or if they do, have a civil wedding ceremony, is it still relevant in anyway ?

[EDDIE51]

I don't think that saying or not saying the words have the slightest impact on the outcome of a relationship. The majority of marriages/relationships end up as failures. My wife and I are in a small minority, I hardly know any other married couples who are still together after even 25 years let alone 43. Our next door but one neighbours are still a couple after over 30 years but they have never married and never intend to.

[woofgang]

Eddie, what do you base that statement on?

[Mamyalynne]

I think the words are a red herring here , it's the concept we are discussing surely.

Do most people enter into marriage believing or hoping it will be forever? I think most do.

Is it realistic ?- for some yes.

[tonyav]

Do most people enter into marriage believing or hoping it will be forever? I think most do.

Is it realistic ?- for some yes.

37 years tomorrow.

[EDDIE51]

I base my statement on my 67 years experience of life and my 43 years of marriage to the same person!