Why Would Someone Who Likes You Stay Away?

[carlcarlcarl]

What does it mean when someone who likes you just decides to stay away? They were the first to start this friendship after a deal of stalking, which was creeping me out at first until I realised how much we had in common and how well this person could understand me. It seemed like we both really enjoyed each other's company and had common interests that are really hard to find, so much in common that it was hard to believe. I had a strong feeling that we needed each other emotionally because we helped each other through a really difficult time. We exchanged numbers at some point, although I did know that they never use their phone, being quite severely technophobic... But where are they? Should I even try to find them (just find an excuse to go to where they work and pretend to mind my own business until they maybe notice me) in case they still want to be friends? I really miss them after our last meeting about three years ago but the last thing I want to do is make them feel awkward or uncomfortable...

[Mamyalynne]

You touch on a couple of points in your question - you both helped each other through a tough time, that is good for both of you.

However, after three years the probably is that they have moved on and are in a better place, best now to let it go and see your time together as a happy memory.

Be glad you helped with that, a real friend in a time of need is precious.

[Canary42]

Three years - distance lends enchantment. I suggest you move on, heart-breaking as it may seem.

Good luck.

[LadyCG]

Sounds like this person's life has gone off in a different direction.

As harsh as it sounds, it may be the case that they took what they needed from your friendship back then and then moved on without you.

Do yourself a favour and move on with your own life.

[johnk]

Sounds like you're about to become a stalker, a phone call is OK but don't start following him/her around.

[Old_Geezer]

Unfortunate that they didn't make clear they were intending to drift away, but perhaps it just happened.

Call once by all means, but a 3 year gap suggests they've moved on, even if they do think of you occassionally. (I've old friends that I occasionally think about and wonder how they are, and wouldn't mind getting in touch with, myself.)

If you contact once and they wish to remain in contact then the ball is in their court, technophobe or no technophobe. But I've little more to add than what's been said above. Don't expect a renewal and a return for how things once were. That is now a memory.

[Sqad]

More information required for an informed opinion, I'm afraid.

This "relationship" of which you write, is it a sexual relationship or a platonic relationship?
Is it homosexual or heterosexual?