how should I feel?

[4getmenot]

Ok this might be a long rant so be warned. Some of you might be aware of my relationship status, I am really happy with my bloke and have been with him over a year, before that I spent 5yrs trying to be with a man who wouldn't commit, who treated me like crap and in the end I gave in to my now current bloke believing I deserved a bit of happiness. Well Saturday I went out drinking and the ex turned up would not leave me alone. I said hello etc and he tried coming back with everyone else to my party and I told him he couldn't. No this morning he has text saying he likes a girl, turns out this girl is a mate of mine that I had round mine last week. She's just split up from her boyfriend and to cheer her up we had a girly night. Maybe I should be grateful he's going after someone really nice, but I am also so angry and want to warn her to stay away. I know if they get together I couldn't be mates with her. But why do I feel this way? And why the hell is he telling me

[leyenda_dos]

still got feelings for him obviously.







dth ?

[4getmenot]

legend please dont start all that. As I;ve said before we have a past course I'm gonna always have feelings for him. But this is about him trying to be with a good mate of mine. I dont think I could be friends with her anymore.

[4getmenot]

Oh my lord it aint jealousy its the fact he cant go away, y one of my mates??

[leyenda_dos]

Im not starting.Its an honest opinion.Which theres no point anyone else saying now.To me youve got feelings for him otherwise it wouldnt matter.And if youd dump a friend who might go out with him then that would seem to backup what im saying.Depending where you live it can be quite common for exes top go out with your friends.Its not a reason to end a friendship surely .Well ive said all i think .But your choice innit ?

[redcrx]

Its not that you still want him is it. Is it because both of them know you and could discuss you.

he shouldnt have told you, if he wanted to ask her out then so be it, he doesnt need your permission so hes done it to try and wind you up.

Hes an @rse

[LoftyLottie]

Just leave the situation well alone 4getmenot. If they get together it's up to both of them and why would you not want to be friends with her? I don't know why your ex has got you involved - it's very childish of him.

If you are all in the same agegroup (and I now know how old you are ;o) ) then you should all be acting as grown ups. If you are happy and content in your present relationship then all this shouldn't bother you.

Has Legend got a point here? Runs away and hides..............................................

[4getmenot]

As I said legend there will always be feelings but its not jealousy, believe me I have met a lot of his girlfriends, its because this girl is a mate. But then I�m hoping she would have listened to what I went through with him and have sense not to fall for it. It is a small town legend and yes people do end up with other exes, fair enough but he is texting and telling me!! I wouldn�t fall out totally with her but it would change out friendship, how could it not. I just replied telling him fair enough go for it, but I dont want to hear anymore.

[LoftyLottie]

Then ban his number from your phone 4get. You have moved on from him now and anything at all that he does should not affect you. This really isn't anything to get upset or annoyed about.

[4getmenot]

loftie the number thing doesnt matter you know what kind of town I live in. How can it not effect me when my mate will be coming round talking about it.

[LoftyLottie]

And 4get, don't forget that all relationships are different - who knows how he may treat another partner. She doesn't need warning. As I said before, you are all grown ups. If she doesn't ask for your advice then don't give it.

[4getmenot]

and also we have eachothers number because from time to time we see how eachothers getting on. So if I banned it now he would know I;m annoyed

[leyenda_dos]

Lottie.

Have i?


DTH?

[LoftyLottie]

My last post and your coincided.

Small town or not 4get, don't get involved in it. If she talks about him to you then that's fine. If she complains about him then you can sympathise and that's fine too. You are planning in advance.

Stay away from the situation and concentrate on you and your fella.

[LoftyLottie]

Legend:

Yes

[leyenda_dos]

Time i left .





Championeeee championeeee

Sorry


asdios

[China Doll]

You feel this way because as you say you do have feelings for him and they will always be there so from those feelings stems not jealousy exactly but it would hurt to think that they could be happy with someone who isn't you but who you're close to. I wouldn't be happy if my ex decided to date one of my best friends. I'd be even less happy if it looked like it was going to work out and that would be why I'd take a step back from the friendship. It's not a nice thing to admit to but I think it's completely true. As much as we get over people and want to see them happy, it does hurt if they decide they could be happy with one of our friends.

I would assume he's telling you either to make you jealous or to let you know so that you don't find out from other people. They're two reasons at the opposite end of the spectrum but one of them will be right and it's up to you to judge which it is from what you know of him. It's not a call anyone who doesn't know himpersonally can make.

As to your friend going out with him.I'm sorry to say but it does become none of your business. If someone wants to be with someone else it's best to stay out of the way as you'll be the bad guy if you try to stop it. In my experience it's best to voice your opinion only if asked when it comes to the love life of other people as no one will thank you for it, And generally they'll do exactly what they want to anyway. You can only be a support to a friend in a bad relationship. If you feel in this instance you can't do that and it looks like she wants to go out with your ex then you can tell her that you can't be there for this one as it upsets you and you walk away and leave it to serendipity.

[4getmenot]

I think its just been sent to me to see what I say. She doesnt even know he likes her, Hopefully she has a good head on her shoulders.