If An Insecure/flawed Man Gets Offered To Be In A Relationship With A Woman He Is Actually In Love With, Should He Risk Going Through With It Or Should He Reject The Offer So The Relationship Won't Blow Up In His Face?

[MM305]

This is admittedly a follow-up to this thread I made earlier:https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1692967.html

But I wanted to ask this separately to help the males in this situation know what to do if he is actually offered to be in a relationship right in front of him and he has to answer at that moment.

Should he say no to avoid the risk of the relationship exploding in his face (shrinking his self-esteem even more), or should he risk it all and say yes?

[MM305]

As a reminder, here are the some of the flaws that a male can have (be it one/some/all of these things listed):

If that person was known for having airhead/idiotic tendencies,

- Grew up with any speech/mental disabilities or obstacles,

- Does not have the luxuries to live a normal adult life (license, car, job, money, house) and is not able to physically attract folks because of not having these luxuries and no being considered good-looking

- Was never incredibly popular in School because they did not have the skills in any popular major (for example, sports or music),

- Doesn't listen to the music that happens to be considered "the cool thing" for everyone else and instead listens to the music that would get them bullied, and that individual isn't physically and mentally strong and/or capable of defending themselves for any assault

[Prudie]

To be brutally honest you are such a fusspot I can't imagine any woman sticking around for long. Stop analysing yourself, it's an obsession.

[Nical]

How would asking this 'help the males in this situation know what to do'?

[AuntPollyGrey]

Prudie for goodness sake if I'd said that I'd been banned....The poor guy obviously has huge mental challenges and your comment is anything but helpful!!

OP you are over thinking the situation. Go on a date and see what happens, be prepared that nothing may come of the date, but if it does then take every day as it comes and don't over think things. Asking a health professional for some counselling on building up your self confidence would be a good idea - love finds everyone eventually but you have to have confidence and love yourself before anyone else. Good Luck.

[Prudie]

APG you clearly haven't read his previous questions, it was neither helpful nor unhelpful it was just an honest answer in CB.

[AuntPollyGrey]

I clearly HAVE read his other posts hence the reference to mental health, and if we were all as brutally honest as you then there would be no one left on AB.

[RATTER15]

I think he just described me!!! well I have been married twice and about to do it again lol.

[TheDevil]

mm305, say yes! Better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all!

[TheDevil]

"in CB."

I have reported this question and asked that it is moved to relationship and dating

[AuntPollyGrey]

and you have to kiss a lot of frogs before one turns into a Prince...lol!

[MM305]

Nical- By knowing if they should take a chance or not when they are in this position, considering how flawed he is.

Should he say yes or no?

[Mamyalynne]

He should seize life or carry on living thinking 'what if...'

[pastafreak]

*again* RATTER??

[Mamyalynne]

When is the happy day Ratter?

[pastafreak]

MM305...we are ALL flawed. There is no such thing as perfect...nor is close to perfect possible.
Just go for it...have a coffee and start chatting. It's the only way you will stop asking what if...what if...what if.
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

[MM305]

Mamyalynne - What do you mean when you say he should “seize life”?

[ABSpareEditor]

I have moved this thread into the subcategory "Relationship & Dating". This can be found in the category "Body & Soul".

[Mamyalynne]

He should take the opportunity to see what grows, who knows he could find happiness to replace his constant angst.

Unless he prefers the angst of course.

[MM305]

ABSpareRditor - Didn’t know there was a dating thread (cause I’ve might have missed it in the list). Thanks!

[MM305]

As well as answering this question, I would like to know where the quote “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" came from?