i love you

[sarah*]

reading jo cannon question, i need help with a scenario im stuck in my self, i really love my best friend and he say's he loves me aswell, but im asian he is white and i have to have a arranged marriage with a indian lad, he knows this

weve bin through loads in the last couple of mnt when we told each other how we felt and i had known him more then a yr then

however since then he has a new gf but still tells me he loves me, im fine wt it bt just dont no wat to think of it, he told me has fallen in love with her but still says he loves me even tho nothing will or can happen between us its a bit confusing but he says im his best friend and with out me he couldnt cope wat can i do x x

no matter wat happens i dont wanna lose my friendship with him tho

[jake-the-peg]

Sara regardless of this boy

You don't have to have an arranged marriage.

You only have one life don't let your family make the most important decision in your life because it's what they want.

I know there is immense pressure to go along with it but there are a number of places to get help.

Have a look at this page:

http://www.fco.gov.uk/servlet/Front?pagename=OpenMarket/Xcelerate/ShowPage&c=Page&cid=1094234857863

There's a phone number there

This is the Governments page on forced marriage - they say a forced marriage is :

A Forced Marriage is one where people are coerced into a marriage against their will and under duress. Duress includes both physical and emotional pressure. Forced marriage is an abuse of human rights and cannot be justified on any religious or cultural basis

Best of luck

[WendyS]

Sarah,

I would reinforce everything Jake has said. Once you reach eighteen you become an adult and have the same legal rights as every other citizen in this land, and that includes the right not to be forced into an arranged marriage if you don't want one. . I know your family and culture have their own customs which may have been appropriate in another world but this is the 21st century and you simply cannot be forced along this route if you don't want to. You need to decide in your own mind what you really want to do, and have the courage to stick with it. As for this former boyfriend of yours, it sounds as if he has tried to accept the reality of the situation and move on, but not entirely successfully. If the pair of you really think you have a future together, you are both going to need a great deal of courage and determination in supporting each other to make it happen.

[sarah*]

i fogotten to say its not forced marriage i do have a choice in who i marry but its arrange where i will have to get married before a certain age and with some 1 my parents think is suitable, as i sed i do have a choice if i dont think they are suitable i would say no and my parents will be ok wt that, the thing is i just feel confused coz im in love with a lad that my parents and family and friends and relatives will def not approve of

[joko]

follow your heart. you only get one life and its yours to live, not your parents. its a basic human right. life is too short to waste it in misery and regret.

try to get info and try to introduce your parents to the ways of this country, so they see its okay

have courage and do what will make your heart soar.