RELATIONSHIPS & WORK....nightmare!!!

[sam100]

I have been at the company i work for for 8 yrs and recently have got two new work mates who have been here 3 months (One Male & one female) .

The three of us are the only people based in our office so work pretty closely and we see our boss for 20 mins a week and the rest of the time contact is by email or phone. I am slightly more senior to her but him and i are equal (in a way)....ANYWAY....

As they started together they formed qy=uite a close bond and i have reason to believe something is going on between the two of them (which is fine) however, there are a few problems..

one is that they email each other on personal email accounts constantly during the day! The others are that they whisper to each other, all emails are sent signed from the both of them, they work together on projects which dont require it, they come to work together, go to lunch together, work late together, they sit giggling and dont share the joke, they have secretive conversations and stop talking when i walk into our shared office.

My boss doesnt really know much about it (and doesnt show much interest anyway) .....it is making my working life quite uncomfortable and awkward as i feel like the goosebury.

I cant go running to my boss whinning as it will make me seem like im being awkward and will create an atmosphere in the office and i will be the only one to suffer as there are two of them and one of me!!!!

Any advice would be extreamly appreciated!!!

[crete]

hi sam, what age or you and these new collegues?

[sam100]

i am 23, my new female colleague is 24 and my new male colleague is 31.

[crete]

well my theory of these new collegues being and young and immature goes out the window, sad your boss is not as supportive as you would wish, but you have a right not to be working under such circumstances is there anyone else in the company you could discuss the issue with eg, human resourses.?

[Roughquest]

You seem to appear rather jealous of their 'closeness' ?What is your question exactly? Other than that I would try and turn a blind eye and keep busy with your own work, if they see their behaviour is annoying you they will do it all the more, just ignore them.

[sam100]

Unfortunately we dont have an HR department as i work for a family business...and our company is not that great in looking after its staff!
I dont mind them having any form of relationship but it makes it really awkward as thy havnt actually admitted it but they are (if you catch my drift)...i have been ignoring it so far and just kept doing my work but i feel so uncomfortable as it feels like i shouldnt be in the room and am in the way. i find it rather rude when people have converstions in whispers and dont share the joke when talking about something...and as i said i just feel like the goosebery!

[Roughquest]

Two's company, three's a crowd - I guess, Im at a loss as to what else you can do, other than look for another job? If no one is listening to your concerns (i.e. HRor your immediate boss) would you feel you could perhaps approach either of them and tactfully try and explain how this is affecting you ?

[loulou32]

I totally understand where your coming from sam and in my opinion after recently finding my own confidence and the ability to say no and to speak my mind, I think I would be taking a deep breath and just telling them both just exactly how you are feeling, be firm, but straight to the point, you dont have to be nasty or fall out with anyone just be honest, maybe they dont realise just how much this is upsetting you, maybe they dont realise that they are doing it??? x

[sam100]

Thanks LouLou....dont want to sound like a moaning minnie but it is really annoying me...i do generally think that i dont stand up for myself enough as am not a confrontational person..prefer more of a quiet life. Im generally under the opinion that people shouldnt have relationships and work together but its not a company policy so not much i can do there....

[kwicky]

From what you have said you may be taking things too personal. They are acting as you would expect if there was office romance and they are obviously continue the association outside of work. Unless the e-mails are about you personally there is nothing to worry about. By excluding you they are just cementing their own relationship and lets face it a three makes a crowd in any personal setup.

[silverdaler]

It must be difficult for you Sam and i sympathise. It is difficult to confront people however tactful\you are, as there is always the chance it may cause bad feelings and make matters worse (they will obviously support each other).
There is not much that can be done unless you perhaps try and instigate things like lunch together, for all three of you away from the office. Or maybe a drink after work. Have you and the girl got anything in common that might exclude him a bit ? Could you work on a project with him ?
Perhaps their relationship will cool once the novelty has worn off.
Hang on in there if you can xx

[sam100]

Thanks for the replies so far!!