Personal question

[Fiszi]

I've recently started sleeping with a guy who is only 20 and is having a few problems. First of all he was very drunk and couldn't get it up a couple of times. He has normally had a couple of drinks by the time we end up in bed but isn't wasted and he does smoke a fair bit. This is recent as he took it up about 4 months ago and now smokes about 30 a day. He seems to last absoloubtly ages compared to other guys I've been with and then just goes soft again. He said he isn't sure if he's *** or not because he was getting there and then just seems to lose it. This seems to happen just about every other time. We still end up doing it 3 or 4 times in the night but I think it's starting to bother him and me because there is only so much you can keep going before it starts to get sore. I end up laying there thinking "please hurry up". Sometimes he just gets tired out. I haven't been with anyone for ages either and I'm a bit worried its something I'm doing wrong. He slips out of me loads during sex too and this is annoying because I've never really had that problem. I worry I'm too loose or something. Please help. this is really bothering me!

[jno]

you're probably wet rather than loose, which is basically a good thing; he just needs to thrust a bit less. Drink may well be softening him but overuse may have the same effect: 3 or 4 times is a quite a lot - no wonder you get sore and no wonder if he gets a bit tired too. The 2nd time generally takes longer to finish than the 1st, and the 3rd longer still. I suspect the answer may just be to cut down a bit (and cutting down on the drink would do no harm).

[snagged]

sounds like you both need to just relax a bit more... and stop trying to 'impress'... which will hopefully happen as you get to know each other better...