Over Before It Began

[sssg4]

I am gutted!

Met a guy last October....we were so close for a couple of months. Nevere been so happy before. He was so intense and we got so close-it was amazing.

He went home for Christmas for a month and we missed eachother so much. He said he wanted all of me when he came back. He sent me flowers, e-mails, texts, the lot!

He came back and we had a disagreemnt the first weekend. Things went downhill from there and he was no so forthcoming in his affection. Not so many texts or feeling the need to be with me so much.

It came to a head at the weekend as I said I was upset...he suggested time out so we could work out what we really want. He called me the next day a few times and text me to say we had to be strong but he would miss me, it was for the best etc.

This guy doted on me, goes away and then feels pressured when I want the same amount of attention etc.

I received a text last thing on Sunday night to say sleep tight babe. I didn't reply and haven't heard since.

This feels like such a waste of somthing special, despite the fact weve been faling out. I am waiting for him to contact me but am not sure if he is thinking the same.

I have fallen for this guy big time and cant lose him. Ive had 2 long term relationships before and this relationship was so much more, after only 4 months.
Guys - pls advise me how I can sort this out. I know they say to leave men alone, give him space etc but I know he'll be hurting too.

I am GUTTED xx

[4getmenot]

he did contact you he said sleep tight and you didnt reply so maybe he's given up thinking you wernt talking to him.

[sssg4]

yes but it's not like I had anything to say in response. I did say that it would be too hard talking but then I really do want to hear from him, just don't think it will help as space is the only things that works in these situations. On the other hand, maybe he needs to know that I care...it's just too complicated! %-)

[4getmenot]

You've confused me quite a bit, if everything was brilliant what has happened between you to make it complicated?

[sssg4]

that's the thing..i'm not sure. He said he had been put off by me moaning about not getting enough attention. Guess I must have seemed to needy. He was the one who wanted so much at the start, which is why this is frustrating.

Sorry to have confused you...I am confused myself lol

[4getmenot]

thats what I dont get, you were asking for too much attention and he had sent flowers, text you etc and you still moaned at him. I would leave him for a while, blokes can get very annoyed by too much pressure, he will txt you when he is ready.

[sssg4]

No, he did all that whilst he was away and then when he returned things went downhill, so I then got upset and wanted to know what was wrong - that's all. I certainly didn't moan when he was away and was being so lovely.

Are you male or female? ;-)

[4getmenot]

female. You're really looking too much into the whole thing, it would seem the time apart made you fall for him even more, which is why you're become clingy. You should just realise that its good also to have time apart, you dont need to see him every day. If he really likes you he'll be back.

[~max~]

So you mean he was being over-attentive while away, and not so much when he returned?
Well, this seems to me a pretty natural thing , don't you think??
Especially after 4 months, you can't expect him to be as attentive as in the first days, can you? You're lucky enough to have got all that attention in the beginnings, but it's only natural that, as your relationship becomes more comfortable, he will not feel the need to prove his affection as much/as often. that does not mean he doesn't love you as much, on the contrary, it proves he's comfortable enough with you not to have to make too much effort.
In my opinion,I think you definitely are being too demanding. Well, only if I understood the problem properly, obviously...lol

[4getmenot]

you have to realise blokes are like this, I wanted to see my bloke all the time, and when he went on hols he was lovely. He is now my ex as we just didnt work, I wanted to see him more, he wanted to see me less. But now I've got a new one I dont like to see him that often and it really makes him want me.

[sssg4]

Yes I totally see your point. What makes me angry and analyse it all so much is that he was the one who wanted a lot at the start so when I opened up and gave more, he gave less...so frustrating. I cant lose him as just a real waste. I am 27 and have a good grip on relationships. This was just too good to lose.

Thanks for your advice 4getmenot!

x

[4getmenot]

But that�s the thing he wanted more because you wouldn�t open up. Its like a sweet shop always nice to have a little treat but you always want more, but if they were giving sweets out for free you�d get sick of it, do you get me, that�s the only way I can explain. But then I�m not a bloke so who knows what goes on in their minds :-) They ask for space so you give them it, then its why haven�t you called, we cant win :-)

[Drisgirl]

Can I just add -although 4getme not has covered all the bases.
I can be needy and when I reflect my husband who works away brings flowers,the CDs I have just mentioned in the passing nice clothes on his way from the airport and all he gets in return is mince and tatties.

Now I am not making light of this but he puts a lot of thought and effort in and I basically take him for granted -thats why Im sitting on this PC when he is home in a couple of hours.
I would swallow my pride and contact him -you may have to soft soap but if you think its worth it then do it.

Best of luck x

[chimpanzee]

Just send him a text asking how he is. He text you last so he probably thinks its your turn!

[alijangra]

I agree, you are the one who failed to reply to him, the ball is in your court.

[sssg4]

Ok, he text last night asking how I was

replied saying 'Hi ya, to be fair had better days, how you doing?'...he replied, 'lonely'...I asked why and his reply was 'I dunno! Miss some happy times we had together'

..before I got the chance to reply he text again saying 'Im about to start drumming. Sleep tight X'... so, I replied 'I miss us X Happy drumming'.

Waiting to see what happens next...Friday feeling not the same knowing I won't see him...bloody relationships %-)