Keep going or walk away

[lounurse]

Had an affair at work and got together been three years now. Have 5 children between us. To say its been hard is an understatement. Let this be a warning to you the grass may look greener but its because of the nettles! My partner hasn't coped well and has taken his frustrations out on me over the years not physically but mentally. I have been close to the edge and still teater every now and then. He has never been particularly brilliant with my kids he will look after them but doesn't really interact with them they are 10 and 11. We work together for another company which doesn't help sometimes. I wonder if this is it as good as it gets and if so I may as well turn up my toes now. Do I stick this out after all the hurt I have caused or do I start a new chapter?

[Emz26]

Hi,
After reading your post I am worried. I think you need to get some professional help. Remember, domestic violence does not necessarily mean physical abuse, it can mean emotional, mental, financial etc abuse. Take a look at the website www.womensaid.org.uk. They offer valuable advice and useful contact numbers that could be of benefit to you and it seems you desperately need someone more qualified to talk to.
Also, speak to your GP. Don't feel embarassed to go to them and discuss with them how you are feeling, they may be able to help!
I wish you all the best.

[NORMANTHEDOG]

emz26.dont talk $hite,its not that bad

[Emz26]

Norman the DOG. You have obviously never been in an abusive relationship then. This lady has asked for advice. Not stupid opinions on other people posts.

[efc]

lounurse - not sure I can answer your question as I feel that it is something that you have to decide for yourself.
However, I was in an abusive relationship several years ago. Abusive doesn't necessarily mean it has to be physical abuse (sadly in my case it was). Without going into too much detail I left my home, business and family behind 8 years ago when I moved several hundred miles away . It certainly wasn't easy and it's taken me several years to get where I am today, but how I wished I'd done it sooner!
Mine is quite a long and detailed story which I really wouldn't want to go into on here. However, if you feel you'd like to talk to someone then let me know and i'll give you my email address.
Hope everything works out ok for you.
Good Luck
Debbie

[havinmysay]

to be honest if u no its your partner making u unhappy id leave him,i no its easier said than done but if hes making u feel this way now can u really see yourself spending the rest of your lives together.

Forget the past whats done is done

Think of your kids i bet your not exactly a barrel of laughs at the moment are you?

NEVER think that you'll never find anyone else and believe in happiness.
Only u can make the decision and i hope its the right one...xx

NORMANTHEDOG.........YOU PRAT

[melons]

Hi, Seems like you have got some good answers here already. have you tried sepearating for a while and seeing how it is without each other? maybe a break is what you need. I agree that domestic violence can come in many forms and that it is sometimes shocking to hear what makes up domestic violence -definatly take a look at the site that emz26 offered.
I think only you can decide if you want to leave though, have you got good friends and family around you? how about work? there are a lot of factors before leaving someone, but like havinmysay said dont think there isnt someone else for you out there. I am sure there will be. a man that causes you heartache and makes you unhappy sure isnt worth staying with.
Dont think this has helped much, but i hope it all works out what ever you decide.

[cartman99]

Ive no experiance of the kind of intimidation that you live with, but intimidation is what it sounds like.

what advice would you give to someone else in your position?, step out of the relationship, look at what brought you together, is any of that still there? Dont stay with someone because you think youve made your bed and have to lie in it.

Perhaps start with a new job?

It easy sat here i know, good luck to you, stay strong. x

[lounurse]

Hi Guys
I appreciate what you are saying. Domestic violence now they are strong words I can't say that its as serious as all that. Off to the doctors for some happy pills and hope they will get me through for now. We did split for a while but got back together and things were better for a while but back to square one again now. I don't know where this will end but thanks for your advice I have taken it on board.