Lads Night out - acceptable or not?

[Vivacia]

Is it normal for a man to go on a lads only night our when in a relationship? My boyfriend thinks I'm out of order for not wanting him to go on a night out with his male friends without me - but i cant think of any reason why a man would want to go on a lads only night out unless he wanted to pull, especially when all his mates are single. He is 22 and we've been together a year. does anyone else think this is acceptable in a relationship?

[ELVIS68]

Stop moaning and let him go out, why shouldn`t he go out with his mates?

save all that cr@p for when you`re married

[lady_p_gold]

What you are really showing here is that you don't trust him, well if he was going to be unfaithful he could sneak off at work, or there are always times one can 'disappear' so you have either got to trust him or not. If you make it clear you don't want him to go he will probably not go, and then the rot will set in because he will resent it in the end. Smile and say 'have a good time' because if you don't learn to live with things like this you will not make it much past a year. Imagine if he has to go away on business etc. etc. you have to trust someone or you might just as well pack up now. Get some help for your insecurity, that would be the best thing, and find out from where it is stemming.

[IzzieQ]

I can think of many reasons why a bloke would want to go out on a lad's night out and they don't necessarily involve copping off with random women.

Like Presario, I encourage my bloke to go out with his mates regularly. He has both attached and unattached friends.
If he's going to cheat, he'll do it anyway.

If you continue with this attitude, you will lose him.

[Sasha13]

Bl00dy hell, it's no us girls have a reputation for being controlling when there are still women like this around. If the situation were reversed and he wasn't letting you go out on girl's nights out, most ABers (and other people) would tell you to dump him because he was a nasty piece of work. Tell you you're out of order? If I was him I'd have given you your marching orders by now.

[Sasha13]

*no wonder us girls* that should have read of course!

[Tiny E. A]

Oh Vivacia! I really sympathise! Why don't you get a nice little collar and lead and explain that he can only go out when you take him out on that. You could even muzzle him if you still have concerns about him pulling.

[curlyperm]

or you could go out with NORMANTHEDOG he ALWAYS does what i say!! Dont ya Norm?? x

[Vivacia]

Hey thankyou all for your replies. I dont mind him going for a drink with his mates down the pub but hate the thought of him going clubbing without me. When he drinks he is really friendly to other people (he'll talk to anyone), and it makes me worry that other women will get the wrong impression and think he is flirting. I dont go on girly nights anymore incase he goes out without me but also alot of my friends have moved away. I know im insecure but so scared of him being unfaithful to me. Dont know how to stop being insecure but i dont want to push him away. cant afford therapy :(

[Sasha13]

Think of it this way. If he's going to cheat on you, he's going to cheat on you. There's almost nothing you can do to prevent this. Even if you stopped him going on lads nights out, if he wanted to cheat he'd find a way. If anything, you're behaviour is going to push him away, not bring you closer. Has he ever done anything to you to make you feel that you can't trust him?

[NORMANTHEDOG]

hey, TINY E A ,i like the sound of the collar and lead,and the muzzle bit is rather sexy,i would go out with you,thats if curlyperm will let me.

[curlyperm]

Now listen to me Norman!! you are wandering again!! You are my pet dog, and nobody elses, and anyway, dogs arent allowed in pubs or nightclubs, so off you go........toddle off back to Motoring! hehehehehe

[winny]

If you want him to be unfaithfull then you are going the right way about it. He can be unfaithfull wether in the pub, club, town, shop or wherever. You really need to work on your in securities and speak to him about it or the void will grow. It is possible to work through it.
Mr W quite often goes out on his own with mates single and othewise and is a friendly chap. He has been known to flirt a bit but never goes any further and always comes home to by bed (well the spare one if he is too drunk). Are you telling me that you have never been out and caught the eye of a bloke and done a bit of flirting and it has generally boosted your confidence and you gone home feeling on top of the world. Perhaps I am the one going wrong!!!
When you go out, why do you get dressed up? Mr W likes me to go out all dressed to thrill as it gives him a thril to know i have been eyed up but gone home to him with renewed confidence.

[4getmenot]

you just need trust, you've become a typical young person in love, I guess we've all done it, which is why we can say that you'll push him away, and you will lose all friends, and once you've pushed him away who is there to pick up the pieces. The others are right he will cheat whever you let him go on lads nights or not. Let him go out, he may be chatty to girls but surely thats his personality and what you fell for in the first place. I'm off out with girls this Saturday and I'm very flirty but I would never cheat on my man. Go out have fun and enjoy yourself, make his lads night out an oppurtunity to have your own girly night. Dont have a go at him because all he'll do is go to his mates and moan about you and you'll end up being the b!tch girlfriend that they dont want about. Good Luck. xx

[redhead23]

oh my of course he can go out with his mates who he has known longer then u , just coz u in relationship dont mean u own him
u have no right to dicatate what he does are u insecure or something??? he is 22 for goodness sake do u want him with u everynight how boring that would be , we all need space !!