I think I've realised he doesn't love me, and it hurts so bad

[chimpanzee]

From this thread... http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question395505-2.html UPDATE: I think it's hit me. I think I see that he doesn't really love me and my heart is breaking. This afternoon I got violent pains in my stomach, I was so scared I was losing the baby. I'd been having them since last night, but then today I ended up in A&E with them. I got my friend to ring him so many times. I dragged myself out the cubicle numerous times (well about 7) to ring him. When I got through he said to call him when I knew for sure. I couldn't believe it, I mean, he's the father and he loves me. Anyway, I got discharged this evening, it was food poisining, and as well as being relieved I was so upset that he didn't care. I'm tempted to tell him I lost the baby, so that I can just have it and not let him know it's his. Or maybe even just tell him it's not his, so that he can leave us alone. But that's not fair on the baby, is it? My heads a mess, I feel terrible and all I can do right now is think about how killing myself will make it all go away.

[redhead23]

chimp remind me how old u r again ? x

[chimpanzee]

I'm 21

[redhead23]

has he not been round to c u at all then chimp?

[nannon]

You liked him enough to have sex with him.

You'll hurt the baby in the long run saying you don't know who the dad is.
Or will you just tell some other guy they are the father etc etc...

Like i said before your a mother of two - pull youself together

[nannon]

that was meant in a not very harsh way - it may hurt like hell but you have two babies to take care of - surely that is your priority now?

[liquidspace]

You need to face the fact that he DOES NOT WANT TO KNOW. You need to decide whether to keep the baby (which I think you want to do) and not have him be a part or whether to get rid and move on in your life.

You shouldnt be thinking of killing yourself, if your mental state is that bad maybe you should consider not keeping the baby, after all, you do have another one to think of, YOU are the most important person to that child.

[I_Tried]

Chimpanzee,

Told you in your last post what to do and I stilla dvice the same.

Liquidspace

As for you how can you tell her not to take her life yet get rid of her unborn baby some contradiction there don't you think jeez.

Mr T a crazy fool

[liquidspace]

No . Clearly she shouldnt take her own life because she has another child apart from the one she is pregnant with.

[redcrx]

your child comes first.
The signs have been there that he didnt love you, long before you fell pregnant.
You now have to build a life for yourslef and your children that does not include him.
Unitl the baby is born, avoid contacting him if you can. He has a life with another woman and has no connection with you other than the fact that you are carrying his child.

[redhead23]

the bloke is a jerk , you know deep down he does not want you i find it sad that you come on here asking us , when you know the answer

MOVE ON
And in future i would recommend safe sex as this is not a good enviroment for your unborn child to be born in to .

[tiggertan]

Chimp, how old is the father? Maybe try ignoring him and building a happy pain free life for you and your children? Lying about the baby is no way to go, you would just lower yourself to his level. Maybe by cutting ties he will realise he want;s to be part of his childs life. Harrassing him is only going to push him away. Also, whilst you keep running after him, he won't see why he has to make any effort. Good luck.
X.

[redhead23]

chimp u gunna answer any of the questions here ?

[chimpanzee]

Thanks for all your advice, I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner I've had a tough few days, been laid up on the sofa in agony and throwing up - nice I know.

He still hasn't come to see me, and it's breaking my heart. In the end I was so poorly I had to stay at my parents and I ended up telling them everything. It felt better to just get it all off my chest, but it's still really messy. I'm going to go and stay with a friend for a couple of days, just to get away and sort my head out.

I know I said I wanted to kill myself but I couldn't do it to my daughter I love her too much. If it wasn't for her I might have tried. I've been to the doctors and he gave me anti depressants but they've not kicked in yet. I just feel like crying all the time, but that could be hormones.

As for the baby I'd never get rid of it. I just hope it doesn't look like him cos then I'd be remind me of what he's like every day. But it'll be my baby and even if it does look like him I'll still love it.

But the unprotected sex thing, it wasn't, we used condoms but they obviously failed. I'm not **** redhead, I thought he loved me and we were being safe, it just didn't work.