So called mates

[4getmenot]

Why is it that people who are supposed to be your friends keep stuff from you

I was seeing a bloke and now with someone else yet the ex keeps saying he loves me and when I told a mate she's just said yer he used to say same thing to me. So why dont they think of telling me at the time???

[redhead23]

mabye trying to protect you , why does it matter though 4 , if you are with someone else now ?

mabye the friend felt akward its abit weired

[4getmenot]

oh doesnt matter about the ex, nothing to do with him was merely trying to explaian, wouldnt that upset you that your mates keep things from you. Its not protection, I would tell my mates if I knew something. My best friend told me she'd heard my bloke had slept with someone else and though it was found not to be true I really love her for telling me. I confronted my bloke at the time and it was all sorted, turned out to be someone else with his first name. I know truth hurts but I'd rather know than look a fool.

[Kaylz1988]

So your saying that your mate and your ex used to be together and never told you?

[Kaylz1988]

Well if that is the case then I think it is out of order yes. Because I understand what yor sayin, its nice to be told. Instead of everyone else knowing, you looking like the fool thinking everything is hunky dorey.

Maybe you should confront your friend tell her your upset at the fact shes kept things from you. What else could she have lied to you about?

[4getmenot]

no they were together way before I got with him, then me and her became mates, I got with him then apparently while I was with him he used to say he wanted her back. Yet she never told me.

[4getmenot]

When she just sent a message telling me this I put 'oh right so being a mate you couldnt tell me at the time' but she said she didnt want to cause any trouble, well obviosly already some trouble if he was doing that. I would have listened, and then confronted him. It doesnt matter now about ex or confronting him but it makes me wonder what else my mate keeps from me. Although my new bloke is as good as gold :-)

[Kaylz1988]

Well then thats just out of order. How can a friend sit there and let your man say them sorta of things and not tell you. If I was in your shoes i'd re-think this friendship. I've been in situations like that and i havent said nothing to them. And now I dont ring her, she always rings me though and it annoys me. I should of jus told her to **** off from day one, when i found out she'd been slagging me off behind my back! xxx

[4getmenot]

but maybe she did do it to protect me and I've told her now how I feel, so maybe give her another chance as she thought she was doing the right thing. Its different if she's had flirted back, but she said she really didnt take any notice of it at the time.

[Kaylz1988]

but how do you know that. Thats what shes telling you

[mrknowall]

I got talking to my mate about this a while ago i asked if he new my girlfriend was seeing someone else would he tell me.He said no as it was nothing to do with him, I told him i would be a little pixxed off if he new and never told me.
I would tell my mate's if it was the other way round.
I would hate it if everyone else new but not me.
Some dont like to get involed as the messenger always gets shot.

[wiggal]

my best mate at college, came with me one evening to my fellas house, it was abit twisted as he was only with me as he liked his gfs to look young (i was 15, he was 27) he was a right piece of work!
When we were there, he threw a strop, my best mate went up to talk to him & threw a vase at him, ( i heard it!) And half hour later she still wasnt down stairs, i picked up her phone and read her messages to find txts from him saying he couldnt wait for her to stay the night, wanted her to sleep next to him and so on!
Tbh, he was a pervert & i should of reported him, my sister very nearly did.
But it hurt so much that my best mate hadnt said he was texting her!

[4getmenot]

she wouldnt be my mate best mate anymore wiggal.

[teag1rl]

I dont think she did anything wrong 4get. She didnt flirt back, just ignored him. By telling you she'd have looked like she was causing trouble. Look at it this way- you currently couldnt give a flying f*** that he's telling you he loves you and I don't think you believe him. I guess she felt much the same way. You both know he's an idiot now but you wouldn't have thanked her for rocking the boat at that time. You have to let your friends make their own mistakes. Hope this makes sense. I'm just saying she probably didnt give it too much thought. Although I'm with you on the actual cheating front-if my friends knew my bloke had slept with someone else I'd want to know about it!

[4getmenot]

yer she says she didnt take much notice at the time. and said she hinted and I've just sais well dont hint tell me, as I will listen. My other mate that told me some stuff had the guts too. I just think if my mates boyfriend was saying things like that to me I would have to say something. It also annoys me how as soon as you split up with someone bad all the stuff then starts coming out that they should have said a long time ago.

[4getmenot]

teag!rl am I right that you were on the shelf with me not so long ago?

[teag1rl]

Hiya, Yeah, I'm the one.
Sort of sat with one cheek on, one cheek off at the mo but I'm hoping it's just a temporary measure and I'll be free of the splinters altogether before long lol.
And I know what you mean about why is it the bad stuff only comes out afterwards, but I do see it from friends point of view-you're there, revelling in new relationship and they dont wnat to pi55 on your bonfire. I'm the sort of person that needs to learn from my own mistakes. Some of my friends hinted that an ex ex wasn't maybe that good-but did I take any notice? Did I balls - till i found another girl in his flat!

[4getmenot]

so whats your situation now?

[teag1rl]

had boyf for 5 months. really happy apart form being an absolute ar5se when he went out with his friends. not like me at all-think it's cos i was psychologically damaged when I got three timed previously and was completely oblivous to it all-never questioned where he went or who he went with. so i got dumped last month and now me and he are good mates and seeing how it goes-he needs to be convinced the jealous witch wasnt really me! V. happy with my life at the moment :o)

[4getmenot]

good for you thats great to hear. I've been with someone 2 months now and treating me like a princess.

[Kaylz1988]

Aww its nice to see everyones getting on with their partners... Me and my fella were going thru a rough spot as 4getmenot knows... and we haven't had a single argument since Sunday! I know its only a few days but for us thats bloody good! We've had disagreements but instead of screaming and shouting at each other were dealing with them in a diffrent way! Its jus so much better. I think you were right 4getme he needed some space... we both did and its dun wonders....

Dont worry about ur ex or ur "mate" i think you should jus be very careful of her... coz she could jus be telling you a bag of lies, she cud of been flirting bak... its not like uv spoke 2ur ex... so you dont really know xxx