Phone messages to ex-wife

[Libellule77]

My boyfriend left his mobile phone at mine the other day....and I know I shouldn't have done (wait for it!), but I flicked through his texts. He'd sent a message to his ex-wife who he claims to hate, saying how stunning she looked when he saw her when he went to collect his boys. Can't approach it with him, as he'll know I've been through his phone. But can't get it out of my head. Any suggestions ?

[Reverandfunk]

Call him a taxi

[Neilzulu1]

Oh dear, sounds like you are being played.

[Beads]

hmm, not good - how long have you been with him? How long have they been split up and whose choice was it to split?

[Libellule77]

We have been together for 6 months - they split up about 18 months ago. She kicked him out after 13 years of marriage for, er, no apparent reason.

[confused79]

I would mention it i wouldnt care that i went down his phone the slime ball, im sorry to say something is happening here he sounds a player and i would tell him where to go.

Or you could make some hints like, oh i see yuor ex the other day, god she looked stunning! just see what reaction you get! play him at his own game.

BTW did he have a text back from her atall?

[Beads]

If it was her who kicked him out then and he is texting to say she looked good I would feel most uncomfortable. I'd mention it - his reaction will be a good way to work out if you're wasting your time or not. If I didn't then it would bug me.

Good point from confused about the reply.

[Libellule77]

She is always texting him about their kids, and how sorry she feels for herself !

[Beads]

hmm, I really wouldn't feel comfortable about this Libellule77. Although perhaps he may just feel sorry for her if she feels sorry for herself.

Are you and he very serious together?

[someonesgirl]

this is going to eat you up until you get it out in the open. You are going to have to be brave and come clean. just say you know it was wrong to read his texts but it looks like its a good job you did! you need to ask him what hes playing at and dont take any lies! hes obviously not serious about you, no one sends stuff like that to their ex....

or you could not say anything and have another 6 months of a relationship before you catch them at it or he dumps you and gets back with her. Dont be second best. Have some self respect......

[Libellule77]

Thanks for your replies everyone !
Beads - yes thought we were getting serious - maybe I shouldn't bother !

[confused79]

I text me ex about the kids but never anything like this and if he text me that i would be sick, and id tell him where to go, so something does smell fishy.

Dont let it go hun yu dont want to be taken for a ride.

[Beads]

Hi Libellule77
I would definitely mention it - before you put any more time in to the relationship. It's better to know sooner rather than later if it's not going to work out the way you wish. It could be something really innocent, but if it's not it's best to know to save further heartache.

Did you look through his mobile because in the back of your mind you thought something may be there?

[Libellule77]

Beads - noted your ealier comment about maybe him texting her cos he feels sorry for her cos she is feeling sorry for herself - I bet this is the excuse he comes up with if I approach the subject !

[lubecki161]

If i were you id get rid of him, lifes to short to be wasting your time on someone like that. 6 months is quite a long time and you may really care about him but it will be easier to confront him now than another 6 months down the line, trust me it will play on your mind the hole time and ruin your relationship anyway.

[Beads]

Libellule - I think it sounds like you have the right attitude, be prepared to listen but at the end of the day look after numero uno and don't take any rubbish excuses.

I hope it works out for you. :)

[4getmenot]

Its funny how whenever I see a question like this it says 'I know I shouldnt have' then why did you!! :-) Not much you can do as you said because he will know you dont trust him and looked through his phone. I guess when you need to do that you should really look at your relationship

[China Doll]

Talk to him.

There's a bigger issue here than you going down his phone. Although be prepared for him to be mightly p1ssed off about that. Especially if he's actually not guilty of anything other than being a thoughtless muppet.

And if he is just a muppet then you might want to have a look in to why you went through his phone in the first place.

[4getmenot]

or if you dont like the ex tell him she told you about the message. ha ha ha tilts head back and forth

[Libellule77]

4getmenot - you're a total genius :)
Maybe I should just leave them to it !