will he ever be mine?

[spenny1969]

hi i would really love come advise. i met a man i used to be friends with when i was 11 years old and i havnt seen him for 27 years till 2 months ago. we started seeing each other every night except the weekend cos he said he went out with his mates he even started coming before he went to work in a morning and told me he was in love with me. then he told me he was married to a woman who treats him badly and has affairs, but by this time i had fallen in love with him and couldnt stop seeing him. he eventually left her and came to me but it didnt last he went back to her cos he missed his kids and said next time he goes is when she starts treating him badly . i was distraught but said i would wait. we carried on as before but last sat i text him when i was drunk to say i loved him but i was fed up he was still with her ,but his wife read the text and kicked him out so back he came to me and promised this time it was for good and we will be together forever. on tues morning he went to work and told me he loved me and said he will see me tonight but i never heard anything all night so i rang his phone and it was switched off so on weds he text me to say he went back to her cos it was his fault not hers and he cant cope without his kids especially now his 15 yearsold son has got a girl pregnant. and he cant see me anymore and he told his wife all about me he said she is going to try to change but he cant see me cos its not fair on her if he is still seeing me but he said now she knows of his affair its scared her and she dont want to lose him. he said he will always love me but not to wait 4 him but he said if it dont work with her he hopes im still single. i know he loves me but i dont know whether to wait for him has anyone been in a similar situation that can help me understand why he has done this cos my heart is broken. we spent so much time together and had so many plans. i miss him so much and just want him back

[Ethel]

Why should you believe his promises? He stood in church or a registry office many years ago and made his marriage vows - promises that he has broke.

He has used you and lied to you. It is as simple as that.

Hard as it may be - tell him to get lost and get on with your life.

[ChocolatChip]

Oh hun, That's awful. A guy who breaks many a promise like this really isn't worth your time. I know it's hard at the moment, but the scars will heal and you will find someone new.
If not you will spend the rest of your life waiting for him, and every so often he will come back, but make his excuses and run off again.
You need to cut all ties from him and start afresh.
Good luck, I wish you all the best.
CC

[bednobs]

what a lucky man, he had an affair and his wife took him back And he left his wife and his lover took him back. Its a total line. If he lved with you dosent mean he couldnt play a meaningful part in his childrens lives, yet he is using the kis as an excuse. Yu are bOTH better off without him, and to be honest i think you have got the best end of the deal. She stiill has to put up with a cheating scumbag, whereas you have ridded yourself of him, and can now meet someone else who isnt a liar and a cheat

[feist]

leave him to his fat stupid wife... they're both stuck in their falied marriage, but wish them luck this time so he can leave you alone for good.
You don't miss him and certainly don;t want someone like him back, you'll find someone soon enough to make you happy, and when you get married, hopefully your marriage wont be a joke like the one you mentioned above. Lol.

[fluffykitten]

u`ve answered your own question!!!!!

why have him back? he will shi****t all over u, r u a door mat?

[feist]

i think its the guy who's more like a doormat, going back to his wife who has affairs behind his back but strings him along probably for money etc
You're not binded by marriage, enjoy your freedom and thank god, you're not him :)

[fluffykitten]

be a strong woman and never see/speak with him again

and also, dont keep going on and on about him or he will eat you alive, he must love having u two hanging around!!! sex with two door mats must be fabulous!!!!

[feist]

yes, be strong and kick the dog out of the house once and for all. remember, you can walk away from this car wreck, he can't. So who's the doormat? Now, go have a chocolate and enjoy your very free and exciting life where you don;t have to see the same fat cheating life partner every morning for the rest of your life :)

[fluffykitten]

what has fat got to do with it? !!!!!

spenny, move on NOW!!!! unless u like moaning and being treated like a bi*****8tch.

shut him out of your life and start a new thread

zzzzzzzzzzz

[feist]

fluffy kitten, you sound anything but fluffy with your bad obscene language.... is it coz maybe you've had a similar expereince beofre yourself? Old scars dont heal fast, I'm afraid so I'm sorry if anybody in your past treated you like a doormat.

May the fat ugly couple have a long life, happy or not, as long as they leave you alone and out of it, spenny.

[cazzz1975]

you sound like someone we know feist...

[spenny1969]

he does truly love me i know it. but he loves his kids and xmas is around the corner so its hard for him. im not making excuses for him but he is trying to do the right thing but its me who is suffering

[feist]

well i dont know u.

why do so many marriages these days end in disasters btw? i'm starting to feel a bit sorry for the old man in this story,... :(

[feist]

maybe you'll find someone else this xmas spenny, dont be so pessimistic, you're young and single, not stuck in a rut with your marriage in shambles like him.
Picture this, you with a handsome young man at a xmas party, this old guy with his kids and ugly wife around the xmas tree... happy ending for everyone, isnt it? :)

[JK2]

If he had told you right at the beginning,before anything started, that he was married at least it would have been honest and it would have been up to you whether you went ahead.

He didn't though, he lied and continued to lie about seeing mates etc. Even if you got him, therefore, you would never be able to trust him - he'd probably do the same to you - or there would be times when you would wonder.

A relationship is no good without trust. Forget him and move on. As someone earlier said, a relationship with you would not have meant splitting from his children - especially as they don't seem to be tots - he could have continued with regular contact - it's just an excuse.

[cazzz1975]

the majority of married man and his mistress deals never end happily, he could still have contact with his kids and be with you if he wanted to.

alot of these guys always tell the "other woman" a load of bull about how terrible there wives are for the sex and the sympathy. most of the time they have a nice albeit slightly dull relationship, you come along and he stops thinking with his brain and in order to win you over he gives you all this cr@p about his terrible life

if it was that bad he or she would have ended it, Im sure the only loser in the end will be you and his wife, meanwhile he gets to have it all...

[feist]

i dont think he has it all, so to speak.... its not love either way, cheap thrills dont last for long. spenny, who was confused up till now, will surely come round and find someone better, in every sense, while the old guy will be stuck once again with his wife and other probs.....
So things have a way of working out eventually as spenny will see.

[caz247]

sorry spenny for hijacking your thread

feist where does it say either of them are ugly fat or stupid

[feist]

it doesnt but thats how I picture them, you can't control what is in my mind, so there.

[jodie73]

Why are you trying to make out it's his wifes fault? She's innocent! It's her loser husband who's at fault and spenny's for sleeping with him in the first place! Men can tell you what they want and you'll believe them!!