Is there sometime wrong with me?

[loublou1971]

We have been together for nearly two years, recently got married, but we are always falling out. I know we love each other, but just seem to battle, and i just makes me ill, i'm suffering with an ailment at the moment on top of the other two i normally suffer from. Which puts even more stress on our daily life, i really don't know what to do. We do try to communicate, but i feel like he does not listen. Which hurts and just seems to bring out the worst in my health. I eat healthy, i'm not overweight.Don't drink or smoke. What causes this reaction in my health. Any suggestions? He seems to go into his 'cave' alot. Leaving me to deal with everything. As you can guess. We are spending Saturday evening in not talking. Help please

[blu3wave]

what do you mean, he goes into 'his cave' a lot? Has he made an effort to talk or not?

[Ice-Maiden]

What ailments are you suffering from Loub?

[Bewlay Bros]

I am no doctor and can not fathomn out why, but stress and axiety causes a hell of a lot of ill health (skin complaints, high blood pressure, ulcers, heart problems etc etc etc).

Why not go on a nice weekend break away from the hustle and bustle of life and just find a romantic location and talk?

[loublou1971]

'cave' he goes to read a book, listens to music just takes himself to another room for a while. He does talk, but just does not seem to make any difference.

Psoriasis , IBS and serious pain in my fingers for the past few months.

[geraint]

For Gods sake, Dont tell Bewlay too much. He'll keep it to make fun of you!!

[blu3wave]

I had a friend with a similar problem as you, a non-communicating bf, who was also a lazy lying bum who used to watch sports on te telly all day....
anyway, what she decided to do about his behavior was to cook him a really fierce meal, loads of curry and chillies and spices etc etc. As it turned out, he promptly got sick, was in bed for a week but had no choice but to communicate to her from a cuppa tea to what medicine he had to take.... Since then, they are very happy together and even cook meals together, (him- to make sure she never tries to kill him off with the spices again, lol)
Maybe you could try cooking up a storm in the kitchen and serving it to your lovely bf?

[blu3wave]

What's IBS?

[Bewlay Bros]

Please do not ruin yet another post geraint. You are a grandmother!!!!!

Lou, sorry about her.

Yes your symptoms are probably stress related. Just take life easier and learn to relax. Easier said than done, no doubt, but I am afraid your health should come first. Even above your marriage.

[loublou1971]

IBS Irratable Bowel Syndrome, i seem to react badly to situations and food.

He's not a bad person, or lazy, just does not think or listen.

[Ice-Maiden]

IBS can be very unpleasant, but I assume your doctor's told you which food and drinks to steer clear of? Dairy foods often make it worse. My sister has the complaint, and once she stopped drinking cow's milk, she was much better. Aside from these miserable conditions, I think BB's right - you need to try and relax, and remove yourself from stressful situations. Again, easier said than done, but both you and your husband must make an effort to communicate - starting off by taking an interest in what each of you do. Hope that makes a bit of sense.

[blu3wave]

is that serious pain in your fngers due to clicking on your mouse all day long? Take a break, go out to the park etc. As for your psorasis, see a doc and get medication. And IBS, well just watch what you eat.... and only eat till you feel full, that means no snacks or a trip to fish n chip shops and dont try anything new either. Btw, out of the 3, which ailment are you suffering from as of now?

[GIRL RACERS]

He dosent think or listen - Hes in his cave a lot - and Saturday in none talking mode - leaves everything to you ??????

Hey wait a minute - this is my man !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[loublou1971]

I have tried a few things regarding the IBS, i can only just put it down to stress. Which even when i explain to him that his reactions or non reactions to things we have talked about and he's agreed to. Make me worse.
I do listen to him, i do all i can for him, respect his wishes etc. Just feel like i'm banging my head against a wall somedays.

Am i making any sense? Is this normal for men?

[Ice-Maiden]

Lol - obviously for some!

[blu3wave]

Yes, men are just hassle. I think you should go to your mother's for a few days, at least until your IBS sorts out. Good luck xxx

[Ice-Maiden]

IBS doesn't sort itself out quickly Blu - it's a nasty complaint, and sometimes necessitates life changes regarding diet.
Can I ask you why you say you're always falling out with your husband Loub? Seems a bit strange, considering you've only recently got married.

[loublou1971]

Bluwave. It's my house, i'm not going anywhere.

Thank you for your suggestions everyone. It's lots of little problems we seem to suffer from. Stress is probably the biggest problem, i think this will take a while to sort. If anyone has a suggestion on how to maybe tackle making him understand. Let me know. Thanks.
He's a great bloke just just does not always show it.

[blu3wave]

Grab his attention by saying something like- I think I am gay, then laugh it off and say 'what I really want to tell you is...."
Also, keep chocolate handy, when you notice his eyes wandering, give him one and keep talking. Hope it works out xxx

[loublou1971]

Your all going to laugh when you read this, i'm not petty, it's just important to me.

I'm house proud, spent the last 5 years struggling to do up an old house with little money and help on my own. I was really broke earlier this year and used my birthday money to pay for a carpet for the hallway, he has basically tonight got oil (from the car part) all over it ,after i had given him a sheet to put down and rags etc then when i complained about the ruined carpet he decided to disapear and leave me to try to attempt to clean it up. When he knows i'm in alot of pain in my hands. It's not just a one off, it was shoe polish on the lounge carpet last week. We are also in the process of trying to get the house ready to sell. So, needs to look good.

[loublou1971]

Yes chocolate. he does love it, He'd turn into a pudding though