ex-girlfriend

[mastadon]

my first love and i broke up about 4 years ago. it was kinda mutual due to circumstances. then i met someone else, then my ex wanted to come nack into my life but i was hurt and said no. i've since broke up with the other girl and even when i was with this other girl i knew i was still in love with my ex. even though i haven't seen her in 4 years. we speak occasionally. i don't know how she feels but i'm pretty sureit's not how i feel. i just wanted some advice on how to go about attempting to tell her how i feel. screwed up situation i know. i know i may have blown it.

[Postdog]

How you feel may just be how you want to feel. Whenever I have broken up with someone, it has usually been that we have both realised it wasn't going to work. So we have parted on reasonably good terms, and remained friends, and more than once when it has all gone wrong again, I've gone back to one in the past (mainly as someone to talk to) and sometimes the flame was rekindled.

However, it was only after this has happened that we realised we DID break up for a reason, so although good mates, lot of love between us etc, we knew there was no point to trying again. By all means, check things out but don't hold out for too much and be prepared to move on.

[Mr k]

I know this may sound hard but you have to forget and move on..
Don't beat your self up with an ex...
I always have the saying " If it was meant to be it would of been "
Have a great New Year

[mastadon]

thanks to both of you for responses. i know what you mean and have been trying to clarify things in my own head. it's just that it' s been so long and i still think about her in the same way. no easy answers, but sincere thanks for posts.
have a good new year the both of you's.

[Twinkle17]

Oh my god please tell her!!! Sorry but im guessing the above answers are from males, so from a girls point of view and I hate to use this but....you only live once.....yeh you might have broken up for a reason but heck that was 4 years ago, things change, you grow up, youve had new experiences etc etc. If you dont tell her you may go through the rest of your life thinking "what if" and you never know she may feel exactly the same. You have nothing to lose. Do it Mastadon and the best way is to just say it.........good luck x

[Mr k]

I do understand what twinkle says...
When you start chatting you could bring up the good times and funny times you had together and see what she says..
And take it from there
Good luck

[chacha2chins]

I've been down this road and believe in the saying an ex is an ex for a reason.
That said, it's been 4 years and you've both gone through changes and have matured.
It's common to look back on a past relationship, especially your 1st love, with hearts fluttering around your head or with daggers in their backs depending on your attitude about it. One's perceptions about past relationships in hindsight are usually unbalanced.
If it means that much to you ask her if she's willing to talk about it.
If she says yes you're on the way to rekindling something, or at least clearing the air.
If not, you'll have your answer once & for all; no harm done.
Good luck.

[exdonkey]

A bit late I know but TELL HER. I have just lost someone in circumstances so similar you woul;d not believe it. If only I had told that person my true feelings......