Being single

[lil123]

Whats the longest anyone has been single before meeting someone else?

[cuddleMe]

6 -12 months i think. been on dates thu between them... that count??

[lil123]

I have had different advice off people who tell me to stay single for couple of years
I get confused
Am not really looking at the moment
My last relationship wasn't too good which ended early November last year

[aims1202]

I was single from just before i had my son until he was 18mths old, thats quite long but i was very preoccupied!

[aims1202]

Being single can be a good time to resolve those personal issues that we all have. I think when you are really happy being single, but would like to meet someone, you are more likely to meet someone you will have a good relationship with.
Thats what happened to me, i was always in bad relationships before, being single for so long was good for me.

[lil123]

Thanks aims1202
I know I need the time and space to be on my own for a while or I will end up in a nasty relationship again
I have enrolled on a evening class and am trying to get out and about with my friends as much as I can child permitting
I am also getting back into my exercise and things I enjoy doing for myself

[bensmum]

I am almost definitely a lot older than you but I have been single for 10 years now. That is through choice as the last relationship was such a disaster I don't want to repeat that!
You will probably need some time on your own but there will be someone out there for you who is worth the wait, I'm sure.

[lil123]

Mine was too I am so scared of getting involved with anyone again

[weeal]

bout 5 months so far, its boring lol

[cuddleMe]

i really like your answer aims, i think i rushed into the next relationship too soon last year. we broke up in Feb which was a mutal decision (though we hadnt been together very long), then i thought ive given up after that and werent looking at all, then few months after that i get an unexpected text of another guy in June who i have not heard from him for many months well since summer 2006 i think? i never thought we would meet up and ended up getting it together (for a bit), but i stil wasnt sure whether he meant of the words he says to me, is this just a bit of fun or not? i wasnt sure, that prob drove him away because i couldnt give him an answer, i dont blame him what he did to me, but hey im moving on... and taking my time, when im ready then im sure i can b honest and b happy without having any doubts. :'-)

[cazzz1975]

Im only with my current partner because I chained his foot to the shoe rack and he cant escape

[lil123]

LOL x I like that one !!

[China Doll]

I think I was single for 4.5 years at one point. I've been single for about two years now actually.

[lil123]

Hi China Doll
How do you cope with the lonely times please ?

[China Doll]

Erm.... well I don't really get lonely love; I sort of like my own company and I've got some really good friends. I guess there are times when like anyone I'd like to have someone around just for a cuddle or more recently to go to the damn pharmacist for me and do all those things you hate doing when you're not well but I guess as much as I think those thngs are nice, the price I'd have to pay for them is too expensive for me.

[lil123]

Yes your right!
I like it when I can just potter about to and stay in my pj's all day or be ill and be in peace without having to answer to anyone.
I am getting out and about more it was just with moving to a new city it takes time to get settled I quess
My son keeps me occupied most of the time !

[China Doll]

I think in this day and age if you want to meet someone then it really is entirely possible to make it happen. My moterh is married to someone she met on an internet dating site and one of my friends has started using the guardian newspaper dating site and has been raving about it.

My personal preference though is to just see what happens, I'm in no rush to settle down and be in a relationship with any one and although three are times when I could do with a hug or I'd just like soemoen to be around those mostly it just doesn't occur to me that I'm single if that makes sense. I'm just happy pottering around and doing what I do.

[angel-cake]

I have been single for two years following at 7-year relationship.

Although I don't want to stay single forever, I am making the most of not having to worry about someone else, not feeling that pain when you get hurt by them, and not having make my plans around someone else!

I know if you are with the right person that they shouldnt hurt you and blah blah blah, but doesnt mean that it doesnt happen. I have not felt that pain or worry for two years now.

I am definitly ready when the right man comes along though, and think you need a good six months at least once you have come out a long relationship :-)

[aims1202]

I really think loneliness is more to do with how you are feeling about yourself and your life. You can be in a relationship and feel lonely and you can be on your own and not feel lonely. As i said i was single for 18mths then got back together with an ex, then was single again for 18mths.Before i met my current partner i was really happy being single, i was not lonely. i changed so much in that time and resolved many issues i had. I knew i would never again be in a bad relationship. i would rather be on my own. I had saved for years and i took my son ( then 3yrs) travelling to see a close friend in Australia and my brother in China as well as travelling on our own. It was life changing, not only the experience but the fact that we did it, the two of us, on very little money.
And now saving for another trip!
Like you said, do things you enjoy, learn new skills, if you can then travel, and read, there are good books like Feel the Fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers, Manhood by Steve Biddulph (good insight into men!) The Power of Now, not sure of author.
good luck x

[DPSA]

i was single for 9 years im only 23 now
i never really looked for a girlfriend after i broke up with mine, i was happy without one. it gave me time and freedom to do what i want when i wanted, i know i was young and it didnt really matter at that age but i never missed it as i got older. i only really started looking again when i turned 22 as all my mates had someone and i was being left out.
i dont think you need to look for someone, sometimes they just come along and you'll know when you find someone.
i meet a really nice girl and couldnt be happier, we've been together for just over 6 months now. we meet by chance and im thankful for that luck everyday
just be patient and someone will come along, maybe when you least expect it