I love you

[CAJ1]

My fella never says I love you unless I say it to him first. Are all guys like this??

[whiskeysheri]

No, mine says it when he's done something wrong. :)

[CAJ1]

Nope, we've been going out for nearly a year and a half. I know he does love me but it would be nice to hear it once in a while lol!

[andy-hughes]

No, but a lot of boys grow up in families where male affection is not common.

They grow into men who have great difficulty in being in any way affectionate, unless they hope it leads to sex!

It's a great shame - but if you are close, why not get him to talk about his upbringing, and maybe get him to relax about expressing his feelings?

[daffy654]

Mine tells me several times a day and so does my 10 year old son.

[CAJ1]

Daffy your so lucky!

3ight8ball: I don't want to hear it every day - it wouldn't be special then!

andy-hughes: Maybe I'll try speaking to him but I know quite a bit about his upbringing. I don't think his parents were all lovey dovey with each other and they split up

[CAJ1]

Well she is lucky that she's loved so much!

But no definitly not every day not even every month just once in a while would suit me.

Do men like to be told they are loved by their other half or do you just roll your eyes lol?

[daffy654]

My fiance even phones me from work every day to tell me. Just because he says it often doesn't make it any less special. I know i'm lucky as I grew up in kids homes so didn't have anyone to tell me they loved me then. My fiance is from a family of 6 lads,they are all lovely blokes and they all worship their parents.My fiance cleans for his parents every week now that they are unable to do it themselves. I think how a man treats his wife/girlfriend all stems from how he was brought up,if his parents weren't very open about their feelings then he won't be either.

[CAJ1]

I know how you feel Daffy I was brought up in a similar way. It sounds like you have a good one there so hang on to him!

You have a sensitive side to you 3ight8ball! Its nice to know a blokes opinion too

[Bert1701]

My girlfriend is the same, she very rarely says she loves me unless I say it first. It doesn't really worry me too much as I know that she does love me so don't feel she needs to tell me. I call her during the day while I'm working to tell her I love her and it's always the last thing I say to her before we go to sleep etc but I don't think she's ever done anything like that for me. As I say it doesn't bother me as I know she finds it difficult to express herself and show vulnerability, perhaps the same situation applies to your boyfriend?

[CAJ1]

I'm not worried by it I just wanted to see if this was the way most men are. I guess everyone is different, I know he loves me so its ok. Maybe he doesn't want to put himself in a position where he is vunerable. I should not say it and see how long it takes him to say something lol!

[andy-hughes]

Actually Duffy, I think I am the exception.

I am very affectionate with my wife and all my girls (women! the youngest is nearly 19 - LOL)

I grew up in a seriously disfunctional family - dad was a violent alcoholic, and it is precisely because of that upbringing that I am the absolute opposite with people i care about.

I do think i am the excception though - repressing emotions and affection is a learned behaviour - and lot of men learn it very well.

CAJ1 - good luck, I am sure you will take this a day at a time.

[NJGirl]

Nope.

[mirela]

my bf says quite lots to me, special when he done something wrong!!!!

[bms]

It doesn't that he doesn't love you,
but its sometimes difficult esp if he is a shy person like me.
thanks to my g/fs who got me used to an idea of keeping saying it. Ask him to say it, its eventaully its going to be a habbit for him.
He'll get used to it.
Gud Luk

[Myriad2112]

You have to say it back to keep the peace!

[angel-cake]

It is an individual thing. Not something that all men never do, or all women never do.