News0 min ago
Relationship Advice
10 Answers
I am need of some advice.
I have been living with my partner for three years now most of which have been good times. We have settled down together now although there seems to be one large problem as far as he is concerned.
The sex life isnt exciting enough for him - we both work long and different shifts so having time together is infrequent. At the weekends he decides when we will have sex, when it suits him.
At certain times I have turned him down just because I dont see why he should tell me what to do all the time. However when I turn him down he turns vindictive and nasty - goes out on a bender all day and then calls me every name under the sun.
He feels that this is all my fault and that I should give him what he wants, when he wants. Surely, this isnt the way a relationship should work??
Can any one give me some sound advice on how to sort this out with him - i try and talk it out and I just get told to shut up and leave him alone.
I have been living with my partner for three years now most of which have been good times. We have settled down together now although there seems to be one large problem as far as he is concerned.
The sex life isnt exciting enough for him - we both work long and different shifts so having time together is infrequent. At the weekends he decides when we will have sex, when it suits him.
At certain times I have turned him down just because I dont see why he should tell me what to do all the time. However when I turn him down he turns vindictive and nasty - goes out on a bender all day and then calls me every name under the sun.
He feels that this is all my fault and that I should give him what he wants, when he wants. Surely, this isnt the way a relationship should work??
Can any one give me some sound advice on how to sort this out with him - i try and talk it out and I just get told to shut up and leave him alone.
Answers
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it sounds like you have vastly different sexual drives and needs. Furthermore, the way he deals with it and not getting what he wants is very bad. If you are like this in the relatively early part of your relationship how do you think it will be in many years time. This situation will only get worse over the years and you will end up resenting and hating each other. He could well go on to have affairs and/or maybe end up hurting you physically. He does not sound like he is admitting that you have different needs and that he has issues with his temper so it is unlikely he would go for relate-style counselling or psycho-sexual help. I think you need to consider whether this relationship really has a future for you.
GL
GL
I understand that relationships should be about both of you being happy, discussing issues and compromising with each other.
From what you have said, he is not prepared to do that....
If he is not prepared to sit down and talk to you about this, how will you be able to cope with other issues that may crop up within your relationship?
How have you already discussed issues that have cropped up?
His attitude with regard to this situation (in my opinion) is selfish and immature!
You deserve to be treated better....far better!!!!
From what you have said, he is not prepared to do that....
If he is not prepared to sit down and talk to you about this, how will you be able to cope with other issues that may crop up within your relationship?
How have you already discussed issues that have cropped up?
His attitude with regard to this situation (in my opinion) is selfish and immature!
You deserve to be treated better....far better!!!!
You should get rid of him. He has no respect for you, if he did, he wouldn't treat you as his property to use as he see's fit.
I never want to have sex, as I have a much lower drive than my partner, but he would never become vindictive and start abusing me. Your partner sounds like a nasty piece of work.
Probably not what you want to hear, but that's the reality of it.
I never want to have sex, as I have a much lower drive than my partner, but he would never become vindictive and start abusing me. Your partner sounds like a nasty piece of work.
Probably not what you want to hear, but that's the reality of it.
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