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Lady36 | 11:09 Fri 19th Sep 2008 | Relationships & Dating
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Hello. I am going out with this guy that I adore, and both he and I have been single for a long time (5 years). We have only been together for a few weeks but I fancy the ass off him and want to get snogging if you know what I mean! :) But how do I do it? He hasn't made a move and I want to but don't want to scare him off...any ideas? Thanks in advance x
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Any intimacy at all yet? If not I would definitely start with a couple of drinks to relax and lose the inhibition....word to the wise, couple drinks means like 2 glasses of wine, couple beers, NOT five shots of Jack!! You don't want to be a sloppy mess. If he has also been single for many years he probably also wants to get to snogging! After five years though, I imagine neither of your confidence levels are at a prime right now. Feeling good is an important first step!!!!!
My advice:
1. Compliment him! Stupid little stuff....his shoes are cool, you like his haircut, he's got good taste in music...ya know, little things. Those little compliments will weigh on a guys head all day (with a big ol' smile attached to the front of the head ;) When he knows you're just as into him as he is into you, everything will flow more naturally.
2. Touch him! Even if you're out in public you can do little things like lightly rub your fingers up and down his back for a minute or two (like a little mini massage). If you're hanging out at home tell him to sit on the floor in front of the couch and give him a shoulder massage. These things are not TOO personal as a first move but will help break the "personal space" boundaries. Plus, him getting comfortable your touch and wanting more of it is always a good thing.
3. Don't have a "big talk" about it! You know, the "do you think we're at the point of snogging yet?" talk. Put's a little too much pressure on the situation. It will make for a VERY uncomfortable first snog.
4. If you have already done the making out, touching, almost snogging, etc., I think the only other advice is next time you're in one of those great long kisses, just grab it! You'll both be glad you did!
Hope this helps!
Good Luck!
Question Author
Wow! Thank you for that answer :) I think you're very right! :) I do touch him a lot, which he wasn't sure of at first but is getting used to it I think, it's almost like adopting a rescue dog who is scared of everything! hahahaha! I had a plan that when I leave his house and I am standing at his front door - I should say "can I have a kiss goodnight?" or something like that! :) I would HATE to scare him off :)
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If he is going to be scared off by you kissing him, then he is not the man for you.

try it, you might be surprised, he might like it and want more.
Good luck.

:-)
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No....not me.I'm not from Bridgend.

Is he still pining then....after 10 years???

poor man. Give him my love anyway....

:-)
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Good luck Lady36 on the first snog. x
Are you a nun? How old are you? No offense but, i pity you if you dont know how to read signals & lean forward tokiss somebody... what are you gonna be like in the bedroom?
>_< GOOD LUCK :D :D
Raggy...
I'm in Abergavenny. I am unaware of breaking anyone's heart. And No, I am not half Italian....wher did you get that idea from?

:-)
To be prefectly blunt- i'd be very wary of a guy who hasn't even attempted to kiss me after a few weeks of dating.

It's just odd!
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Sorry Raggy.....you said SHE !!

I certainly havn't had anything to do with any females!!

Men only for me darling......

;-)
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Question Author
I have read the signs but they are conflicting, and yes it is odd that he hasn't made a move after a few weeks BUT...he last girlfriend may have f**ked him up quite badly and I don't want to scare him (see puppy reference). I should just go for it really cos if he says 'no' and runs away - it ain't gonna happen is it... I just want to pounce on him and lick him all over! :) Yummy!
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yes, I should just go for it too.
But be careful at first. If he has been badly treated before, then pouncing on him and licking him all over will have to wait for a bit longer.....lol.
Gentle kisses first...see how it goes.

Good luck.
:-)
When you get to the 'goodnight' bit, stand in front of him and hold eye contact. Move your head towards him as though you are going to kiss him.

One of two things will happen - he will read the signals, and kiss you - no problem, or -

he will not kiss you, in which case you kiss him on the cheek gently, and accept that he just wants to be friends, and isn;t interested in a physical relationship with you.

Either way, evenyone's dignity is intact and you can both move on in which ever direction this takes you.
That's a very good answer Andy....I'm impressed.
Good advice for you there Lady36.

Hope it works out for you though.

:-)

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