At breaking point..

[sam100]

Everyone i could do with some help!!

4 weeks ago i split up with my partner of five years. Theres a big age diff between us and things have been very stale for a long time. We stayed together because i was too comfortable even tho there was no future in it.

Its been very amicable so far as we both knew that it would happen in the end. Now i have to look for a new job so that i can afford to find somewhere new to live in the new year.

2 wks ago, someone that i had fancied for years, a friend, made a pass at me and i ended up in bed with him. I really enjoyed it as that dept in my life had been lacking for a long time. He went on holiday the day after and is due back in the next day or two. I have text him once halfway through the hol but havnt heard anything. He has also been on Facebook but not messaged me directly. Before he went away he said that he had enjoyed the time we had togther and that he would see me when he got back- but obviously not that interested as he would have got in contact in the meantime??

At the moment i feel im having a really tough time of it which is unusal as im quite a strong person! :)

Both families on my ex-s side and mine are giving me their opinion as to what i can and cant do and what i should be doing even though i havnt asked for it! Its making me fel very controlled!

On top of that i lost my grandfather 6 months ago to concer in the space of five weeks and the aftermath of that has been very stressfull for my family (me included)

Because i have been in a relationship for so long my social life has gone out of the window and as i work from home i dont have anyone to talk to in the day.

This morning i woke up and was very tempted to book a last min week away in the sun - even tho i cant afford it! But i'm sure Mr Visa would welcome it.

I dont feel that i can talk to one person who will give me

[andy-hughes]

Hi sam

You do sound very low and stressed.

I strongly reccomend that you speak to The Samaritans. You can phone or e-mail them, and they will listen to you without being judgemental, and offer you some of the motional suport you are obviously lacking at the moment.

I am sure you can see that the way you feel right now is purely the result of a certain set of circumstances which have conspired to bring you down by arriving all at once.

With regard to your friend, i would try contacting him once more when he returns, and if he doesn;t get back to you, it is not meant to be.

That said, if he does, don;t throw all your emotions into a new reelationship at this stage, you are vulnerable, and could be hurt again - something you don''t need.

In the mean time, there are loads of empathetic people on here, so post away, we are here to listem and help if we can.

Hope this makes you feel a little less isolated.

A x

[sam100]

Thanks Andy that really sweet of you! I guess i'm just having a low day and the daunting prospect of all the tasks that lie ahead is a bit of an uphill climb- sometimes its nice to be able to just let of steam!

x

[shazbang]

Hi Sam

I'm in the exact same position as you at the moment. I was with my partner for 5 years, we got married in june 07 and broke up about 6 weeks ago, the day after my 30th birthday. We are still living together as neither of us can afford our own place and its so hard. I wasnt the one who wanted to break up and we were best friends before we got together so I've been taking it really bad. There was no big fight or cheating or anything, just hadnt been gettin on.
Like you, my social life has just ceased to exist as well because we always went out as a couple and any friends were joint friends. My doctor has put me on anti-depressants and i was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome on monday which was brought on by stress.
I've had a really bad year, i found a breast lump which turned out to be an infection but had to wait an agonising 4 weeks to find that out, i started a new job and got bullied so had to leave, my mum is an alcoholic and has taken 2 overdoses this year. So all in all i feel pretty low at the moment and feel i've no-one to talk to. everyone keeps telling me it will get better etc but i just want to tell them all to eff off. feel like i've nothing left to live for and xmas is just round the corner. i'll be on my own at xmas and prob for new year as well. i know how you feel Sam and i can bet we're not the only ones who feel like this at the moment.
I'm afraid i cant really give you any advice, i just wanted to let you know you're not on your own. maybe you could join a night class or something. i've done that in the past and always ended up making friends but because i was in what i thought was the perfect relationship i let those friendships fall by the wayside. i wont let that happen ever again. hope you start feeling better soon xxxxx