partner problems

[mr1]

My partner and I have lived together for five years and it's never been easy. He drinks a lot, is uncommunicative and tends to blame me for everything. He really is the salt of the earth type but finds it difficult to be in a relationship. He avoids discussing our problems. His 18 year old daughter has been an enormous problem for me, despite trying my best being patient, tolerant and generous she simply can't stand me. When she visits she scowls constantly at me and seems to hold so much power over her father. He's very defensive of her. I'm finding it all very stressful and end up blowing up at him from time to time. HELP!

[WiseOldSage]

Do you know this sounded like me a couple of months ago. I was posting issues about my husband on here and about his kids - I even answered a query the other day about an 18 year old step daughter.

Long story short - yes, my husband can be difficult and yes, my stepchildren are pretty horrid at times and yes, my husband eternally makes excuses for them. But it was me that was going downhil - I ended up at the doctor's for depression and six weeks on I am not getting stressed about the stuff I used to, I can take or leave my stepchildren's rudeness or behaviour and I don't get myself twisted into knots about "being blamed" for everything that goes on in other people's lives.

I'm not saying it's an issue for you - I mean depression - but I know I was taking the weight of the world on. Now, I brush off remarks and smile - I can't remember the last time I had an argument with my hubby.

Good luck though - I've been there ...

[lil75]

He drinks and doesnt want to communicate, and you bottle it all up until your at a point of explosion, no good for any of you....I think the problem here is lack of communication, his drinking a lot suggests he may be depressed himself (as I was with someone who was a drinker) and later found out that was why, and where he doesnt want to talk your keeping it all in...you need to sit and discuss this with him as its a massive strain on your relationship...best of luck x