date rape, this is all so messed up... pls help

[oh-nooooooo]

I'm 100% sure me and a friend were drugged in a club last wkend. I have very vage memories of the night as does my friend. It all got very strange after a drink this guy got us (we were all at the bar, however, my friend and i were chatting, we were a bit drunk admittedly) I

have had a few flash backs and there is alot of blanks. But i gather, me and my friend went back to this guys house, and ended up having sex.

I felt very out of it, and things that i would definantly have said no to happened. Didnt feel i was able to say no. I've been married for years and a mum, my friend in a loving, live in relationship. Neither of us would or have cheated before. (I've been drunker on many occasions)

I had to have a STI test today, and it messed me up. I seem clear but who know re HIV and Hep B. i also reported it to the police. I felt very wobbley and emotional all day, but after reporting it, i felt calmer, and more in control, but numb towards it.

I rang my friend told her, what i did today, yest she was sure that we were drugged, but today, she's not sure, as she often has blank outs when drinking. I'm well confused.

I think she's panicing as she dosnt want to tell her bf what happened. I dont want to tell my hubby but know i have to, have no idea how he's going to take this. What makes this harder is he knows this girl and her bf. I think she's worried that my hubby'll tell her bf. I still have to tell my hubby about it - dont i? How can i stop my hubby talking to him, when he finds out?

Does anyone know of any support lines that help the partners deal with their partners going through this kind of thing?

my head is eveywhere. dont even really know if that all made sence

[BRIZE]

Blimey what a bad experience. You simply have to tell your partner. What happened is not your fault. keep saying that to yourself. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT...The police will take this seriously and with the amount of CCTV cameras around these days will definately be able to ID him. If you tell your partner he will support you which is what you will need in the coming days and weeks. Everything you and your friend did before you had that drink was consensual everything afterwards wasnt. Forget the prefix Date.. It was RAPE plain and simple. Good luck and i hope you get your head round it eventually. xx

[oh-nooooooo]

its too late for a test. more they are ringing me tomorrow. i'm going, just writing this is freaking me out.

shouldnt have posted such a big thing

[~max~]

lilsecret..Are you seriously saying that it was her fault she got raped, because she got drunk??????? My god....See my previous post. Would you also pat the guy on the back and say "well done mate, after all she's the one who got drunk, you only did what any red bloodied man would have done"????

Where do you live? the 19th century??

[pastafreak]

I agree grasscarp..

[No,Knowledge]

if this had happened to you would you have come up with
---------oh-nooooooo ------------as a name to use to tell the story?

[gruntie]

max, this woman says she is married with kids.

yeah, ok going for a night out with your mates and a few drinks is ok.

but she says this man, drugged both of them! got them both back to his and has sex with them both

surely both of them would not of been affected the same, at the same time, to then have sex with him

you must admit this does sound a tad far fetched

[~max~]

It doesn't matter how drunk she was, FFS! If she was drugged, she would have had no will power, no way to resist anything.

It's NOT your fault!!!!

[gruntie]

my thoughts too No.Knowledge

[~max~]

Yes, it could very well happen! If he got them both a drink, and drugged the drinks, they would have been in the same powerless state.

[lilsecret]

max - thanks for taking me to task. However, I also suggested the OP looks up the word irresponsible.

I see you are also unsure whether it is a wind-up, max. And yes, I maintain that if a responsible mum and wife goes out and gets worse the wear through drink, then they are very vulnerable.

There's is plenty of publicity about what to and what not to do. Don't people ever learn?

I still think it is a greenie windup - so often happens on a Friday night.

[jackthehat]

Wizard - Thanks for that :o)

I know what you mean but unless the OP had given us a complete run-down of their annual social diaries, jointly and individually, this outing could have been a rare occurence....

I'm still in two minds about the likelihood of this story, but would rather post as if I believed or not at all............

I don't see how 'condom' or 'gruntie' are helpful..........

[gruntie]

so jack, because my name is green, I am automatically not worth anything on here, my replies mean nothing.

the poster is a greenie, you overlooked that one

[~max~]

Being irresponsible doesn't give carte-blanche to anyone to abuse you, does it? she probably feels guilty enough without having strangers pointing out that she got drunk and should blame herself! Yes, it wasn't wise, but that's not the point here, is it??

[jackthehat]

I said that I didn't think that your replies were in the least bit helpful.............

[gruntie]

and yours were jack?

[gruntie]

max, wake up and smell the coffee

[jackthehat]

I take it you are a fella, gruntie............?

[lilsecret]

max - you have your opinion, I have mine.

I reckon it's a Friday night wind-up.