Is this acceptable?

[Redrum]

Can someone talk sense to me here ? If you found out your partner had been emailing women on the internet, hours after you split up, then got back together a few days later, and he kept this email correspondence hidden from you, and you found out and saw all the emails, and they say it was ok cos there were single - what would your answer be ? Help....Im confused...

[sara3]

it doesn't sound okay to me. how does he know her, and what kind of emails were they?

[tamborine]

U aint got his full attention.....if that bothers u, then split.

[Redrum]

I guessed his password to his email account one evening while he was asleep, checked the dates and found he has sent his mobile number, photo to at least 6 women he doesnt know...off the cuff so to speak...he just tells me i was wrong for getting into his account (but he constantly told me he had nothing to hide) and he did nothing wrong as we had split. He has previously helped himself to my mobile phone without my permission and check up on me many times.

[Huderon]

As he's been keeping the correspondence secret from you, and claims it was while you were apart, I'd say he's still playing the field and isn't that serious about you.

[sara3]

what's the point when you evidently don't trust each other?

[Redrum]

Problem is I love him, I do/did trust him up until now, what I am trying to say is I dont know how to feel about all this, he has shattered the trust i had for him, even though he claims he struck up conversation via email messaging with these women, i forwarded all these emails he had to my own email account, i have done nothing to deserve this...he keeps still telling me he loves me and all that jazz, and asks me why im tearful and quiet and can we move on from all this, but i cant forget....

[crazycathy2]

You can't have trusted him or you wouldn't have logged onto his email account.

If you have no trust you have nothing in a relationship.

I find it strange that hours after splitting up he would be emailing anyone and to send his photo too. Think he has an agenda but not sure it includes you.

[Redrum]

We are engaged...this is the strange part of it, why would he feel compelled to do this just hours after us splitting up (even for a short period of time) if i did that i would be labelled a ****...and of course it was perfectly acceptable for him to do this as we were finished...jees this is difficult.

[Redrum]

Quite robknot 'we were on a break' so that makes it ok...no matter what feelings you have for someone...if any...he doesnt have much respect for me i guess...stupid i am.

[Redrum]

If he wants to mess about why not end the relationship, he phoned me today at work telling me he loves me and was sorry, and that he still wants us to get married - WHY?? You men really are confusing.

[tiscaliscam]

this depends on many things his age his state of mind some older men still behave as they did years ago how happy he is with you? also how well u treat him n make him feel wanted n loved? in general men will lookn admire but if they have all they want from their wife g/f they wont go any further than just flert also if u love him you have little choice that of course applies to him

[crazycathy2]

He's done it once what is stopping him doing it again?

Will you be able to forget this? If you can't , then you will keep throwing it back in his face whenever you have an argument. What if he gets secretive will you think he has started emailing her/them again?

Not sure why you kept the emails?

Think you need to ask yourself a few questions but I know I couldn't do it.

[paraffin]

Hi Redrum:

Be confused no longer - kick him into touch, now! It'll only deteriorate further the more chances you give him - cut the cord now and do yourself a massive favour.

[Redrum]

Thanks Paraffin, you do speak wihtout forked tongue...and that is what i should do...

[Redrum]

S'ok robknot, i know where the famous quote came from lol, made me smile...it is right in a way...but makes me think that he had little feelings or remorse or sadness from the fact we had split, to go and do this...so why bother being with me....this is what i cant quite get my head round.

[Banali]

Can I offer a few thoughts thoughts here?

I think you are confusing yourself by trying to understand his motives when you should be concentrating on yours. Ask yourself the following:

What would you tell a friend of yours who asked you the same questiion you are asking us?

Are you the person you want to be in this relationship? Does it make you proud of who you are?

Is this man getting in the way of you being in a relationship with someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated?

Is this the best that the rest of your life has to offer?

"Can someone talk sense to me here" You already know the answers.

Good luck

[tamborine]

Bet he doesn't know your revealing all on here - are we your secret?

[Ice.Maiden]

If you decide to give him another chance, you've both got to look at why you're so suspicious of each other, and I agree with cathy. If there's no trust, trhe relationship won't work. Even so, if you're both committed to being honest with each other from now on - send the emails back to where they came from, and tell the person/s not to contact again, as you're getting married! : )