Ultimatum 3 months before getting married!!!!

[God'sChild]

My partner and I are getting married in 3 months and lastnight he said if after a year of marriage I don't fall pregnant he will find someone else or get a donor!! Now this is a sensitive topic as he's 40 & I'm 29 and has wanted a child for sometime.We've had a rocky relationship, really up until today but yet he won't go for counselling!!! We don't use protection anymore & I even went to my GP back along & she said because I've been on the pill before, it might take some time plus she said she's not worried as I'm still quite young....He's checked his Sperm Count & its all normal too! He thinks I don't want a child with him as he feels I'm not doing anything about it properly.....but why can't he understand our relationship should be stable before we bring a child into this world! Am I being selfish or unreasonable? Any advice please -thanks

[redcrx]

feelinlost, read ALL the other threads that have been posted over the last 2 years! Everyone says the same thing each time.
PLEASE seek help from friends and get out of there!

[Whoever]

Ye Gods !! I can't believe you're thinking of marrying a man who even before he's got you up the aisle, is telling you he's going to dump you if you don't give him a child within a year. He sounds a thoroughly self-centred individual who is just using you as a breeding factory. For heavens sake, if your relationship is already rocky as you say it is, dump him and find somebody who will value you for the individual you are, rather than the womb he wants to temporarily rent. Are you so low in self-esteem that you are prepared just to stand by and be treated like this. What will be his next demand, I wonder, if you do become pregnant? He's already made it crystal clear to you what he wants you for and that obviously doesn't seem to be love, mutual respect and permanent commitment whatever hurdles you may jointly encounter. If you don't have the common sense and courage to break off this relationship now before you're unfortunate enough to get pregnant by this man you will probably get the future you deserve. And sadly it probably won't be a very happy one.

[brucie1996]

Have you called the wedding off yet????????

[God'sChild]

Haven't stopped the wedding........I arranged for us to go to Relate a few days ago....I thought it was a good outcome & my partner even admitted he has been physical with me! But my partner doesn't think that he wants more sessions. He say's if I want to go I can but he doesn't need any further counselling.

He doesn't appear to think that his anger/insults and him being physical with me is a problem....I've told him i don't want to be in another situation like that again & all he say's is don't cause me to react like that!!!!!

I'm arranging the next session very soon for myself...