I want to get engaged.

[angiealf]

I've been seeing a wonderful man for nearly 10 weeks now, we're in our 40's and love each other. I desperately want to get engaged to him to show the world we are serious about each other. I want a long engagement so to give plenty of time to save up. How can I get him to buy me a ring, he doesn't seem to be in any rush.

[ummmm]

That's a shame.

[angiealf]

Sorry Docspock - no more details, thats for my man alone. He's the one I talk dirty to:0)

[LoftyLottie]

I admit I knew and I was someone who was commited to not being commited!! Mr LL was much the same though!! Made for an interesting relationship but once we decided to get married we were married a few weeks later which not a penny between us. We were both very innebriated when we decided to marry and have been married for nearly 38 years now.

[cazzz1975]

some blokes would be worried if their GF said sex wasnt everything, this is the honeymoon period of a relationship after all...

[pastafreak]

Hmmmm...you seem to be more concerned with the 'sparkler' on your hand than the quality of your relationship. You don't 'get him to buy you a ring'....not at this stage,and certainly not when he must have other financial worries to contend with. I am sorry, but you are just coming across as materialistic and superficial. This may not be the case, but to say that you are 'desperate' just sounds odd and OTT.

[angiealf]

Thankyou all for your comments, I have now come to my senses, the ring isn't important. We spent an absolutly wonderful evening together last night (no sex - not needed). Just cuddled in bed (including this and that). It's clear that he loves me and that I don't need a ring to prove it.

[pastafreak]

I have to admit that I have trouble understanding how two adults can just 'cuddle in bed'.....without ANY sex. And I am not limiting that to just penetrative activities.....?

[LoftyLottie]

Sad that you think that two adults cannot just cuddle in bed, Pasta. Why on earth not?

[Whoever]

Hold back a while and examine your motives. You say "How can I get him to buy me a ring?" and then a short while later you say he's out of work. It rather sounds as if having a ring on your finger is more important in this relationship than the fact that your boyfriend is no financial position either to propose marriage at the moment, or to sjupport you. Throttle back. Get to know each other better and don't rush into anything. It sounds as if your boyfriend is more sensible about this relationship than you are.

[flobadob]

Perhaps substitute weeks for months and then think about it.

[pastafreak]

Lofty....of course two adults can cuddle in bed without sex......but as someone else said, we have 2 people who are in the early, and what is for many, a very passionate and exploratory stage in their relationship. I am quite surprised that passion has not yet led them further afield...and they've not progressed. Obviously this is my opinion-others may feel differently. But because I would expect / want more at the same stage, I am trying to understand what is happening here.

[LoftyLottie]

Pasta. Earlier in the thread she says they both have physical difficulties which limit sex. They are obviously having a sexual relationship, but not penetrative sex. I assumed that it just intercourse that angiealf refers to when she says 'not sex'. However, I may be wrong.

[angiealf]

Hi all, LoftyLottie - You are absolutely right, we have a sexual relationship and as you have guessed - it is intercouse that we find difficult. I am quite over weight so there is alot of fatty tissue around "The" area in question, half of my mans member is used up just to bypass the excess tissue, then his diabetes prevents him getting hard enough to be able to penetrate.

[zzxxee]

if he is out of work how can he afford to get you a ring???

[angiealf]

zzxxee and everyone else who have mention "out of work - can't afford it", He's got savings - It's taking care of me in the future that concerns him, not the imediate cost of an engagement. If you go back to my post on the 1st of nov, you will see I have come to my senses and have realised that a ring is not important, although I won't say no if he buys me one :0)