What do I do for him then?

[Cindylou41]

I have been a mistress for almost 11 months and I completely adore the man I have this relationship with. However, recently he told me that before I came along that he was really happy at home (and still is) with his partner and family and that there had been 'nothing missing' in his life for him to have this relationship with me. He simply moved everything up to fit me in, I didn't fill a gap as it were. This has made me wonder what my purpose is then, or my role. I don't feel special any more. Has anyone got any ideas..please?

[cazzz1975]

total rubbish sqad, you "understand" infidelity because it is your weakness, like smoking, drug taking, violence ect.....

[Sqad]

sara....it is a human component that we all strive to maintain but we all fail in some way, some where, because........being human we are endowed with human failings.........allof us.

[Ankou]

well it makes a difference to sqads statistics !

[Sqad]

cazz...LOl LOlL you may well be right.

[sara3]

people may be weak, but to openly condone such behaviours shows a lack of respect, in my opinion.

green light, go for it?

[tamborine]

you ready for when his kids catch up with you, as they surely will!

[DEN53]

Cindy - why did he feel the need to tell you this information now, 11 months on - do you think he has another mistress in mind or actually is seeing somebody else right now ?

Sounds like he is trying to let you down, gently.

[Cindylou41]

I never thought of that Den. I doubt it though. He is insanely jealous of anyone coming near me, always has been. If he is happy with her and happy with me, I'm not sure he would take on any more.

[flip_flop]

I think sara makes a great point. Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, who is your accomplice going to be with on the 25th? You, or the mother of his children?

The fact they are not married is neither here nor there.

Look, I've been there - before my current partner (we are not married) came along, I was bedding a married woman, so I'm far from a moral beacon, but one day, whilst walking my (now sadly dead) dog, I happened to see her in the park with her husband and kids and I was absolutely consumed with guilt and finished it the next day.

Seriously, move on. It'll be doing him a favour as well - none of this "I've got a meeting in [wherever]" pony that he is, without a single shadow of a doubt, trotting out to his Mrs.

[Sqad]

DEN....ooooooooh!.....sneaky......you would never cheat on me......would you?

[cazzz1975]

jealousy is no indicator cindy, If he can fit you in, he can fit in others, if you left him tomorrow, you would be replaced.

this isnt love, someone who loves you wouldnt treat you like a piece of meat

[DEN53]

Cindy - I think he likes the control he has over you - and obviously makes him feel powerful having you on a string and his partner. I think he could handle another woman quite easily - he is laying the path by bringing the subject up which you mentioned in your original question.

If you want a more solid relationship Cindy - I would move on from him - dump him before he dumps you my love.

[DEN53]

Sqad - you are my one and only........................................b
ut
I am still sitting here with my jar of Vicks (:o D

[tamborine]

docspock.....DIY - really? Is that so v.unfulfilling that a man would risk negating his relationship with his children?

[Sqad]

DEN...you must try and get those erotic thoughts about us out of your mind.

[DEN53]

I know Sqad - but I am high on Lemsips and all I can think about is youuuuuuuuuuuuu

[Slapshot]

If you have found a level of pleasure and happiness you like why change it, if you now feel that you need to move on then do it. Follow what your head and heart say because in the end they are what you need to satisfy

[Sqad]

slapshot.............excellent answer.