Is this right or wrong?

[buffymad]

There's been various problems I've had before (see previous posts of mine!) but thought all was sorted. Apparently not ...

New question ... if you're in a relationship with someone, whether it be married or not, is it right for another woman (female work friend) to be flirting with your other half?! This person is naturally flirty and does it with a lot of other male friends. She's in a relationship herself but it sounds rather weird - in that they don't do anything together hardly. I can cope with texting etc but the texts are rather flirty and certainly more than friendly (but not sexual). Hubby says he knows what she's like and has admitted she is flirty and seeks attention but thats just part of her nature. He doesn't necessarily think its right she's like that but he's not going to tell her "how to be". Fair enough. But from my side, I think she's taking the pee by texting him (a lot) and being flirty. Hubby has said when he gets flirty texts he's aware of it, but doesn't bother him as he doesn't reply in the same vein and just thinks "its her being her".

I think most other women would be annoyed if another woman was doing that to their other half. Shows no respect for me. Oh, and she knows this has upset me before in the past and she's decided to step it up apparently. Doesn't that make her a nasty person?

I do know her (as such). Hubby is going to tell her texts are going to be cut down as its causing upset. Do you think I should speak to her personally so she gets the message (in a nice way of course, ahem!)?

Grrr ... people !!!!!!

[buffymad]

Thanks Cherry!

Well I suppose he does (well, I know he does!). Even if he doesn't totally agree with me (ie he really doesn't think its an issue because he's not flirting back - sorry, I know I keep repeating myself), he's decided he'll cut it all down because its the only way to go (ie he knows I couldn't bring myself to accept it).

I did actually say I was glad he'd decided that as otherwise it would have split us up. He said that would be a stupid thing to split over but I said I know, but it would have caused continuous arguments and that ultimately would have split us up.

You're right (how do you know me so well?!!) though - I must admit since I found out about Miss Flirty being flirty (which basically means I found out she's like I thought she was all along - and then convinced myself to NOT think like that!), I hate his phone going off even more. I have to learn (again!) to try and ignore it - because if he's doing his bit but I'm still itching to ask who it is etc, I'll be the one keeping the tension going won't I?

Don't worry though, its not the ONLY topic of conversation. As per usual I'd talk about it forever which hubby hates to do (he knows what's to be done, he's told me, should be end of conversation!). Must admit, it helps me airing my views on here and getting opinions from others! But we do talk normally and even have a laugh - good god !!!

[albalass]

get her OH's number and when she starts texting your hubby text hers. see how she likes it

[buffymad]

Well that's the thing, we are in tune with each other - HE says that! Yes we have a good laugh, we do normal stuff, we agree on the important things etc etc.

I think another woman sending a text (which as far as she's concerned the OH doesn't know about) saying something about her having a "scrummy body" is flirty and sneaky. But there you go. He didn't reply to that one by the way!

So not jealous as such, just peed off with her coz she's being a sneaky cow and thinks she's getting away with it. And she KNOWS it's caused upset before so she's well aware of what she's doing.

Yeah I thought about texting her OH. But then they have this weird relationship where they don't do anything together (despite living with each other) so she probably wouldn't care!!

G

[sara3]

I think the problem is that as soon as she knows how much she's got to you, she'll a) think she's winning and b) possibly step it up.

this is one for your husband to sort out. HE has to tell her that HE thinks it's inappropriate/too much and that HE wants her to stop. she's playing silly, childish mind games to fill a sad gap in her own life, don't let her win.