What's the art of forgiveness?

[maplestar]

How do you forgive somone?

[China Doll]

You accept they're truly sorry for what they've done and let go of the negative energy. Provided it doesn't cost too much of your own being to forgive, it's a judgement call based on the individuals subjective experiences.

[yogi-bear]

You just say " I forgive you "...............but it depends on the circumstance of why you should forgive that person, maplestar :0)

[ummmm]

Depends what they have done. How long ago. And what type of person you are.

[bobjugs12]

Jesus, deep.
Only you can answer that one maple....

[ummmm]

You can't just say 'I forgive you' if that's not how you feel.

[woofgang]

Are you expecting to stay in a close relationship with them? From my experience of a close relationship spanning 40 years, there is no problem with forgiveness if the action isn't a dealbreaker...if it is there is no relationship.
In other cases, basically its a process of letting go of your anger, hurt and need for revenge.

[coccinelle]

First of all that person has to ask you to forgive them if they don't, they don't really think they've done anything wrong and so you can't forgive them. If you feel they're sincere you then decide if your morals will forgive them or not.

[beso]

One truly forgives when no longer placing any value on the perceived "loss".

[redman41]

Always forgive your enemies ... Nothing annoys them more !

[Greedyfly]

I think you just feel it, I think you either do or you don't. I am very unforgiving unfortunately. I have forgiven people before but I think its just something you feel instantly in my case, I will admit I have not forgiven more than I have. I don't think you can choose to forgive, you just do.

[andy-hughes]

I'm with greedyfly here.

I think a feeling of forgiveness is an instinctive thing - you either feel you can forgive and move on now, or you may be able to at some time in the future, or you will never be able to forgive.

It's goverened entirely by the individuals involved, and the cause for forgiveness.

[CuteToni]

You forgive and move on. Dont keep raking over the coals.

[ravenmiss]

I agree that you just feel you can forgive them and afterwards you won't keep bringing it up or using it as a weapon against them, if you're going to forgive you have to do it, bury it and move on. Otherwise the relationship is simply never going to work.

[beryl100able]

You feel the forgiveness first. If you don't feel it, you can't. It can be fostered and allowed to breathe, and when you feel it, let it live so that the other person can feel it. But for it to work, there's another component needed - the person being forgiven has to want to be forgiven, and to want to be forgiven they have to admit guilt to themselves.

[lardhelmet]

Not me - I can forget - but NEVER forgive

[Prudie]

I'm with you on that one lardhelmet

[lardhelmet]

Thank you Prudie - thought I was going to get verbal for that one!

[caslass]

It depends what you are forgiving. Breaking a treasured possession or sleeping with your best friend

[boxtops]

I find it hard to do either, depending on what it is and the severity of it and how much it upset me. OH says I'm like a s*dding elephant, never forget anything, and I do have a bad habit of keeping on digging up stuff that he's moved on from. I try, but some things rankle.

[Prudie]

You're welcome! I know it's a fault but I can't help it once someone's hurt or upset me that's it, that's why I try to avoid confrontation if I can because to me it can be final!