am i'm being unfair

[jordielaz]

i've been going out with a guy now for around 5 months and its all fine - we see each other quite a bit. he mentioned going on a short walking holiday a few months ago and asked on and off if i'd like to go and then changed his mind saying hes off with some friends (one guy and one girl). he says we're not ready to spend that much time together - maybe one night away.... havent heard from him in a couple of days and thought he might even send a t text or something??

[AlBags]

Guys don't say things like that .. do they?!
Are you sure this relationship in monogamous?

[poodicat]

Seems a bit iffy

[jordielaz]

well yes he does, i think if a friend said 'we're not ready to spend that much time with you' i'd be really angry but because it's a 'relationship' it almost like people can get away with saying anything! he's been engaged twice and both times he's been dumped - maybe he just doesnt want things to get too heavy??

[askyourgran]

Could be afraid of commitment, or maybe carrying a torch for one of his exes. Whatever, It sounds like he's cooling off, you'll have to have a heart to heart to find out where you stand.

[ummmm]

He might be up to something he doesn't want you to know about yet....

A line anyone?

[ummmm]

Have you met his friends?

[jordielaz]

we've had heart to hearts and he says i'm expecting too much. he makes me feel like whenever i complain about him not involving me in his life that i'm being clingy but i just want to know where i stand - my better judgement says to end it. On sunday morning he got up to go cycling with 3 other women (all about 10 years older than him) and asked me to go - i declined. shoudlnt you want to spend time with your girlfriend at the weekend. i think he is very concerned with making sure doesnt come over in any way vulnerable but its starting to make me want to break away.

[China Doll]

I went away for a month about two/three weeks after the man hostage and I got together... We managed to text good morning and good evening while I was on the other side of the world without finding it too weird and I even managed a couple of (drunken) calls. I don't think a text is much to expect after five months.... maybe he sees the relationship as more casual than you do.

[Eve]

Sounds like you are in very different places as regards what you both want (or not) at the moment so you have to work out whether you like him enough to persevere and see if things change.

Trying to change him is not the best idea, you can't force him. Well, you can try but it doesn't make for a happy relationship.

As ummmm suggests, there may be parts of his life or things he does which he might not be ready to share with you yet, maybe things he might feel you don't approve of.

Sounds like he likes his freedom too and really, why shouldn't he be able to go and do his own thing from time to time.

[TTG]

Maybe he just wants a change of scenery so to speak. You have been seeing a lot of each other so maybe he just wants time out for a while. See how he feels when he gets back. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as the old saying goes. It is strange though he has not even thought to text you in two days. Out of sight, out of mind?

Hope it works out for you.